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female
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anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 3.5 years just came home today with big news. He enlisted. He's a Marine. We have been talking about this for about 10 days, but he's been thinking about it for a long time. We're both liberal minded folks, me definitely more of a hippie mindset. He is incredibly intelligent (highest score on the military aptitude test is 99, he scored a 98 which is driving him crazy... "what could've I missed?!??"), just a great person with a warm heart and strong morals.I just am in a daze. I don't know what to think about all of this. We've been planning on getting married, we have a dog together, we've been living together for 2.5 years... I'm just trying to figure out how I'll adjust, if he'll change while he's away and if he'll come back the same guy that I married. He wants to get married before he goes so that we share benefits and housing. I told him it might be a little fast for me, I'd like to wait for more like a year than 6 months.I really believe that he's a solid enough person to handle the Marines and not come out wounded and different. I just hope that his inevitable success won't go to his head.This is all just so fresh and I'm not sure how I ought to deal with it. I feel a little better, since he'll be kind of working for Obama :o) but life will change so much for us. Hopefully for the better, I mean the military will help us so much in this rough economy and will help us set up our lives together so that we can have a more solid future. But somehow, I'm still feeling icky about the whole situation. They have assured me that he won't go into infantry, but ugh, what if he has to? I don't want to be worrying about him 24/7! They say he won't, though...How can I make myself feel better about this? Has anyone been through the same thing? Will this really be a positive life change? Help me Cupid, put my heart at ease!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, you have all ready helped me put this into perspective. After sitting on the new news overnight I'm feeling a lot better. I'm almost glad that he didn't ask me one more time before enlisting - saved me the angst of agonizing and hemming and hawing over the issue. I would've encouraged him to enlist anyway... it was silly of me to be pissed off (though he did apologize for springing the news on me).
I am really proud of him and very grateful for the sacrifice he's making for us and future. Not to mention, I'll have 4 years of a little extra independence so that I finish school, do more theater, fill up my time with productive things. And, spouses get to travel abroad if he ends up going anywhere fun - he speaks fluent Chinese, so they have suggested maybe an interpreting position. I could hang out in China for a bit, it could be an adventure.
I'm feeling a lot more positive about the whole thing, even though it seemed a little spontaneous. He's been thinking about this for a long time and has more time to adjust than I have. I'll come around.
Thanks guys for reminding me that first and foremost I should be proud to have my fella working for our country and for our relationship and future security.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): I can help you with this one I am married to my husband who is in the army hes been overseas for a year luckily he didnt have to go to iraq either but I must say its HARDER than you think being away from them overtime It will get lonely and depressing im not going to lie. Important things to remember Dont let people get to you when they say your husband is cheating its not always true and dont let your insecurities eat you alive either, Get a webcam so you can talk and see eachother take lots of pictures, Spend time with family more than friends cuz friends could be bad influences, Keep busy go to school work keep your head straight, send your husband gifts they love it, Be very supportive cuz he is going to be going through a life change. Your husband wont be the same person he will change completly for the good though so dont worry he will come out a better man. So relax It will all be for the good I hope I could help.
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reader, Kepi  +, writes (27 January 2009):
 its interesting that your boyfriend joined after discussing it with you for only ten days,and for him to simply come home and declare he's enlisted, well, strange......
A military career, especially these days is different and certainly with the current conflicts not always a nice career. However, (provided he's done this for the right reasons, and not on a whim) you should be pleased and proud of him...it takes a special type of person to join the military.
You comments about him coming home wounded or changed and 'they' promising he won't go into the infantry.... I'm a bit at a loss who are 'they'?........... sure when you go thru things and see things that the average person doesn't see, it will change you, but in most cases it makes u a better, more self assured person.....one thing I will say if he's only done it for financial security, he's done it for te wrong reason....
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reader, DoubleM +, writes (27 January 2009):
 This is indeed a trying time for you, and he as well, But although I never served (volunteered but not quite qualified in 1968), my best advice is to be very proud. His service will certainly improve opportunities for the rest of your lives.
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