A
female
age
36-40,
*prvedgrl
writes:I've complained to my boyfriend that he is a selfish lover for not giving me longer foreplay. I even stopped giving him sex because he only sucks my breasts for less than a min. He says that i am too demanding, but he wants me to grab his balls or hold his penis non stop why can't he do that to me? He said i have to touch myself cause he cant multitask is that true or can i get him to do the tjinngs i need to make me climax? I need help becasuse i cant have an orgasam without him sucking on my nipples while i rde him but he gets to cum all the time.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (17 November 2012):
 I am sorry to hear about your plight.
If your boyfriend is a lazy lover, and you've expressed your frustrations with him, than I think he is unlikely to change. You may want to think twice about what you are doing with such a man. Sex is a key component of a happy and successful relationship. Most guys would jump at the chance to pleasure a woman and his reluctance to do so indicates he isn't making sexual pleasure a joint effort. Does his selfishness turn up in different parts of your relationship? My guess would probably be yes.
Your tactics of withholding sex from him also damages your relationship. A man often expresses his affection by lovemaking and when you rebuff him, in a sense you are hurting him and likely to drive him further away (possibly to the arms of another woman). Also you are withholding sex from YOURSELF. So in a sense, you are punishing yourself for his lack of sexual interest.
If you still feel the need to try and get him interested, I would recommend that you up the romance factor. Surprise him: when he comes home from work be ready for him -- sexy lingerie, candles, perfume, maybe some romantic music, you get the picture. If he tries to rush through it, tell him no and guide him in pleasuring you (perhaps even with toys).
I do think, however, you have a long term problem (unless he changes) and eventually you are going to have to make a decision whether he is worth a lack of sexual satisfaction or not.
Good luck,
Eddie
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2012): Hi, maybe by you mentioning what you want he feels he is not perfoming adequately and does not want to be seen as useless in bed?
Try directing him to where you want to be kissed and touched, also if you are riding him, slow it down, take it at your pace. When he asks for more tell him you are planning to drive him wild till he begs. Maybe this way he will last longer and you will also get to come!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (16 November 2012):
 dprvedgrl,
I see that you have made no advances in your quest for sexual satisfaction. I also see you ignored my last advice. So here is a bit of advice for your selfish guy.
Stop trying to multitask. Concentrate on her orgasm until "ladies come first". Then she will be much more eager to please you. After all she can still function after her O, apparently you can't.
FA
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