A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some help...it's about my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a half a year, and he's depressed. I'm trying my hardest to make him feel better but I really don't know what I should do. Ok, he's adopted and the only blood relative that he had close to him was his older brother Edwin. When his older brother Edwin left him with his dads (yeah he has 2 dads.) house at 18 to be with his girlfriend-...it left my boyfriend heartbroken. He said he felt so alone but I just held him and told him he had me, but it was just so sad. He's usually happy when I am around...but when I'm gone my friends tell me that he gets angry easily, like he flips out on people in sudden bursts of anger, doesn't want to talk to anyone, ignores everybody. The other day, he called and started crying on the phone wanting to see his mom. (his mom was a drug addict so that's why him and his brother got adopted.) and I didn't even know what to say. He then said it wasn't his real mom he missed, it was his friends mom who is like a mother to him. I feel so bad...Not only that, but now my boyfriend has found a friend that is older than him and he loves him like a brother because he reminds him of his brother so much-the worst part is that I hate his friend because he gets my boyfriend into trouble and if I tell him I don't like him I will just make it worse. I only want what's best for him but I know it won't make him happy...that is all I want...is for him to be happy again and I have talked about it with him, but he don't like to talk that much about it because he likes to ignore the situation a LOT! I have opened him up a little, because he is happy around me-but when I'm gone I still want him to be happy and stuff you know? I need help in cheering him up. Please help me-he told me the last time he was truly happy was when his brother was around and that he loved him more than anything and now I don't know how to console or comfort. What should I do?
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female
reader, Carina  +, writes (25 February 2007):
 My heart goes out to your boyfriend. What a tough time he's had. I honestly think he would be best to go for professional counselling, but it sounds as though it might be hard to persuade him. Try talking to him about what counsellors can do to help. This friendship he has with the older boy sounds worrying too, if it leads him into trouble. Is it at all possible for you to direct him away from this guy a bit, by organising other things to do so he doesn't spend too much time with him? I'm a bit confused why he can't see his friend's mother. Is it possible for him to get in touch with her, as I'm sure she would be wanting to help him? Is there no way of contacting Edwin, or did he leave your boyfriend deliberately alone? If so he doesn't sound like a very good person. It sounds as though you're a very perceptive and caring person and he's lucky to have you. I hope I've helped a little, but he really, really needs to see someone, even if it's just his doctor to start with. Good luck.
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