A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need help!Okay my boyfriend he's amazing everytime I lay in his arms I feel like I have the world and I love him to pieces but..he calls me beautiful and says that I love you...but the next couple of days later he says he's annoyed of me when I didn't do anything and then he calls me a fat ass! I take that very personly especially from him..I even tried dieting and he still called me a fat ass! I confronted him about it and he just got pissed off! And then the next day or so he makes up says I'm sorry and the cycle repeats ! One time this girl was flirting with him and he was casually talking back to her but all of a sudden he started to playfully poke her and laugh and ..I just turned around and silently started crying and he stopped but..still ..and then one day when he said I'm soo annoying he goes and takes my phone and deletes his number and then some girl walks up to him and asks for his number and he gives it to her and then later he tells me he was just kidding..oh yeah..and another time tired to see what his reaction would be if I made him jelous and he completely cracked! And then he was soo pissed at me...and then I tell him everything I'm feeling and he says sorry and I said sorry I just ..idk desperate to feel something out of him..and then the next second he looks into my eyesFor the longest time mesmerizing me! And and I don't know! I'm soo confused..so lost..he even called me a slut.... But then he says I love you and I don't know..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (12 July 2009):
Darling what your bf is doing is NOT OK! He is emotionally/mentally & verbally abusing you. This has got to stop. More then likely, he wont stop abusing you, because he is an abuser. It has nothing to do with you. So dont start thinking things like 'if only i was a better person, he woudlnt do it'- because thats not true. You are a great person who doesnt deserve to be treated like this.
What you are experiecing is called 'the cycle of abuse'. See the following link which explains exactly what you said you are going through.
http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/women/page5.html
Also see this webpage http://www.dvirc.org.au/whenlove/
It gives you a list of abuse warning sigsn and explains exactly what it is. Hopefully you will be able to identify and realise he is abusing you. Once you realise that, that is the first step. You shoudltn stay with someone who is abusing you. It will only get worst as time goes by.
You need to either tell him this has to stop. He will most likely blame you, deny it and so on. If this is the case then you need to leave him. Abusers rarely change, especially when they dont get professional help. I know it will be hard, believe me, ive been through it before. If you want to talk feel free to message me. You need to do this for yourself. You will be happier in the long run.
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