| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend is planning to marry the person that he got pregnant. wE ARE BOTH IN OUR 20s This girl was his ex, which we found out she was pregnant with his child. He did not cheat on me, they have broken up for real, and she discovered that later The problem is that I really love him and he loves me too. Yesterday we had a talk, We have been having these talks for long now. As clear as I am about the situation but I cannot let go that easily. I feel like me and him belong together, not the other woman. What confuses me also is the fact that, this other woman is far away, they do not stay together. This makes me to doubt the depth of their relationship, because he is always with me. He gets nervous and scared around me, which makes me feel so bad. Yesterday he made it awkward when he came to visit me. As I went to a friends place to fetch some things, he was supposed to wait for me at the entrance. When I got outside he was gone and he drove off. He later called me and said he got scared and decided to run away. We see each other and call each more often but he wants to stay with me for a very short time. He gets nervous every time i mention the issue of his marriage. Yesterday he told me that he wants to be with me but at the same time he is in a dilemma. He told me that he will try not to contact me even though its not easy, coz its misleading me. He also asked me what do i want, He asked me if its a good idea for us to carry on dating, but i can only do that when i know at the end of the day he is going to change his mind He likes to insist on kissing me and hugging me. I told him that his affection deceives me into thinking that he is in love with me. Even his behaviour makes me feel that he is really in love with me, not the other woman, but he wants to do what is best for the baby. I told him that I cannot date him while he is still seeing somebody else, let alone planning to marry that person. I wish he can just be selfish for once, and do what is in his heart... I don't want him to marry but to be a responsible father to his child. At the same time there are no guarantees that we are soul mates....The problem is that I find myself not meaning what i say. One minute i am fine and convicted he is not the one. The next I want him back...Logically I am fine, id like to think he wasn't for me, but why is it hard to let him go... why do i have faith in this relationship, if he wasn't the one??? He really cares about me. Another thing that freaks me out is the fact that, I have never seen him with the other woman. I wish to see them so that i know its real. I doubt the depth of their relationship. Please advise me whether i should let him go, or stay. Yesterday he also mentioned that, maybe he needs to let go of me and allow me to date other people. Even though in his heart he still wants me as his girlfriend
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female
reader, cd206  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 You have to let your boyfriend make this decision. He's not the most important person in his life anymore, and neither, sadly, are you. He has to make the baby the centre of his world now and may feel that he owes it a two parents family. You can't change his mind, only support his decision. He knows that you love him and you know that he loves you but really, by being nervous around you he's just delaying the inevitable of telling you it's over. Try to be supportive. Perhaps in the same situation you'd do exactly the same.
CD
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