A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is showing signs of depression and has extreme paranoia and refuses to do anything about it saying it's just always going to be there and no one can help him.He had a very disrupted childhood; his parents left him when he was 6 months old and he's been brought up in various children's homes. He's attempted suicide many times in the past, including when he was a young teenager he got kicked out of school for very publicly attempting to hang himself. He self harms every now and again, infact I actually had to physically restrain him only a few nights ago when I had said something about an ex which triggered his paranoia/depression and he took apart a razorblade and started cutting himself right infront of me. He then jumped out of my window, ran down the street at punched through a neighbours shed window claiming 'he needed to punch something'.He tells me he's had so many different medical treatments and councelling and nothing has made any difference. He says nothing can be done, even though I've begged him to go to the doctor many times.He also has extreme paranoia in which if I recieve a phonecall or talk to someone over the internet he's convinced I'm cheating on him. I had to cancel a camping trip with my female friends because he said that his paranoia would get the better of him and it would ruin our relationship. I find I have to spend pretty much 24/7 with him to stop us from arguing, which I don't mind at all but it's not exactly practical. I've had many conversations with his ex who we both get on very well with, and she had all the same problems when she was with him. She went on a day trip to another town when they were going out and it pretty much ruined their relationship.I love my boyfriend to death and I want to help him but he won't let me. Any advice more than welcome, thanks xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): Have you considered a spiritual intervention? Perhaps there's a pastor at your local church that could shed some light and be able to help your b/f. Sometimes it takes something bigger to solve these kinds of problems. I think the problems that are plaguing your b/f are an attack by Satan and will only be put to rest with spiritual counseling, prayer and a committment to God. It's worth a try. Everything else has failed and he is surely headed for disaster at the present time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): Your boyfriend is not well and you should convince him to go to a doctor, even if you take him by hand. A doctor can try to make him aware he is walking on a wrong path and can try to plant in him the seeds of change. This man intentionally harmed himself in front of the supposed "loved" person, he prsented you to a factor that horrified you, and it's not rational at all. HE isn't. Most people won't tolerate such "shows" for a long time, and you can't blame them, can you? He needs help, and if you can convince him of that and hope the situation will get better... Otherwise it can be mind-wrecking. His "nothing can be done" is persisting in the error. I've known a similar case, the man ended up in a mental-disease hospital... they probably didn't take it seriously and it only worsened. I'm afraid this can even turn against you, not only causing heart-lesions, but also phisically, if he changes the strategy and displays violence against you next time. Maybe the fact he was abandoned in childhood made him feel guilty, maybe this hatred will ricochet to people around him. How does he react to discussions about his past memories? Or signs of sympathy for what he lived, for ex. Life of an orphan is not easy, but a doctor can take at the surface memories suppressed by him, that still hurt, with the purpuse of turning them unvulnerable. Memories shouldn't have the impact of the reality that caused them, but he's still not at peace with what happened. And most certainly not in the position to love anybody now, or he shouldn't have let you see him maim himself. Be very careful with investing feelings. You can't spend a life fearing such episodes. You definitely can't even dream of a family while this person is unable to control himself, children would have to be exempted from this etc. Consult a doctor asap, but he won't give you a two-weeks-result treatment. And be ready to move on if this won't change, without regrets. But maybe he is on time to receive help.
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