A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm between a rock and a hard place. im with a guy i love him dearly. hes good with my daughter, he works, he dont have any drug habits, hes smart, hes everything ive wanted in a guy. the problem i have with him though, is that he is always busy, he expects me to always be busy, he's just non stop. he works under the table, so you would think we have a lot of us time. we dont, when hes home, theres always nonstop chores, he expects the house to be cleaned from top to bottom when it isnt even dirty every day. if i get it done, he's ready to repaint the walls, or rearrange, he waxes his car daily, dont get me wronge, im a clean freak myself, but lysol-ing the toilet twice a day is a bit much. Our together time is spent laboring! and its driving me crazy. he sleeps five hours a night. sometimes we clean till bed time, then when we wake back up he wants to get started on the cleaning for the next day. between that and chasing my two year old around, i barely have time to do my hair. should i be this unhappy? or am i tripping? i guess youd have to spend a day in my shoes to see how much i have to do and how we never sit down and so much as relax for a few minutes together. he even told me that he left his last girl cause she didnt clean. i can understand why she didnt clean enough for him, its impossible to do. what should i do?? heres what i do every day: cook and do dishes (ashtrays included) 3x, vacum every room (including bedrooms) and the stairs- livingroom 3x+ lysol every table top in the house(tables/nightstands ect.), disinfect the bathroom and kitchen, mr. clean to the couches, wash laundry and daily alternate between bedroom blankets being washed, clean all windows and mirrors throughout house (6 big ones) dust and polish shelves, when all that is done theres always random things, like wash/disinfect the trash cans, the fridge, the stove, scrub shoes, or clean carpets, he never runs out of things to do. im loosing my mind. Then he comes out with cans of paint and wants to do maintenence on the place, we paint at least once a week sometimes! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): Your boyfriend more likely than not has a psychiatric disorder known as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or "OCD", this is very painful, persistent, and while it can be controlled it is not "curable" necessarily.
There are other similar conditions, but this sounds like OCD.
You need to see a psychiatrist with him. He will minimize his symptoms and probably doesn't even see his problem.
Don't underestimate the severity of this condition. It is severe, life long, and makes living with someone extremely difficult.
If he won't go to a physician with you, tell him it has to be done or you are out of the relationship, force the issue. If you don't, you will end up forced into it later when it will be harder to deal with.
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