A
female
age
36-40,
*xx123456xxx
writes:Hi im 23 and my boyfriend is 26 we have a son that is 7 months old and we had a few up's and downs in the beginning of our relationship, he messed me around with a 16year old girl that was in april 2007 and i forgived him for it and things where still fine after that a few months ago things changed, he stoped having sex i have to come on to him to have sex and then he will cum in about 5 to 10 min where he normaly last about 30min, i have to hold him, the only thing that he gives me these days is to kiss me in the morning when he leaves for work when he comes back and when we go to sleep, i dont know what to do anymore i feel like a cheep ho chasing after him, when i confront him about this then he say it is not me it is him, i leave early in the mornings now so he still sleeps when i leave for work, so the on day last week i whent into my computers internet history and saw all these porn sites that he whent on to things like (little girls) (young sex) thing with all these young girls on this realy broke my hart, i confronted him about it and he said that he never went on these site before he went to work but the times are there, so after a while he said OK I DID IT SO WHAT and i ask him is he getting him self off on thing like that so he said yes, he is only doing it so that he does'nt cum so fast when sleeping to me and i cant belive this cause we never have sex anymore, I think we must just split up but he does'nt what to, so what must i do.... i feels like he does'nt find me attractive anymore, i pooring my hart out here, please help i colse to a nervise brake down i realy love him, or maybe he is just with me cause he does not own anything i have everything WHAT MUST I DO PLEASE HELP...........
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): Get out and stay away from that. Believe me some one has a problem. A big one
A
male
reader, guy10-14  +, writes (2 February 2009):
Look relax. He does love you but he likes looking at young girls. It's really very normal for guys, most guys keep it quiet for fear. Let him you love him! Let him know you don't judge him for looking at those girls. If you want to keep him and work it out it's simple. Show him you love him and accept that he likes those types of pics. To get him more into you, try to roleplay with him. Tell him you'll pretend to be younger for him, he'll like that. Look at some pics together and while he's getting excited on the pics you get him off and you enjoy it with him. It's not a big deal, I believe most guys do it but no no one knows. It's ok.
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A
male
reader, malate  +, writes (17 October 2008):
Love and Care will help, if he is still loving you. Show him how much you love him. Show him how much you care him. Then he will return those love and care back to you. This is kind of sympathy. I also use to fantasize about pre-teen girls. My wife cautch me from my computer, since the first year of our married life, she saw the picture of little girls age 8-12 on my computer, espectially the picture of pretty young actress. She asked me about my feeling about little girl. I confess that the picture of the beautiful little girl attractive to me. She show me that she love me and would like to help me to solve my problem regarding "girllove" behavior. As she sympathized to me. I also symathized back to her. And promise my attention to quit this immoral addict. Then our love relation is getting better and better. It is almost 10 years passed. Now we have one son at 8 year-old. We love him very much. I always try my best to work very hard to avoid a chance to get back into this terrible problem. This also culd help, if we have so many other things to do. Try to help him to find what is attracted to him, such as sport, art, paiting, swimming or what ever. God bless you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): 16years +
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (23 September 2008):
 Sorry, I think we need clarification here: when we say 'little' girls, do we actually mean 16 years+ here?? (you said 'teenagers', but there's a difference between, eg, 13 and 19 - a big difference)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): Please get out of this relationship. There is no excuse for getting off to that kind of thing, and it certainly isn't for your benefit. You sound like a decent person who is willing to work things out but I dont think you should waste your time.
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A
female
reader, xxx123456xxx +, writes (22 September 2008):
xxx123456xxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSome of the lady's don't get it, it is not the sex that bothers me it is the fact that he push me away and he had this issue since we me i thought that i have gotten through to him in the begging about the porn thing but it seems that i did'nt (he use to go on the internet on his phone and view pics of naked little girls and masterbate on that) and it is not that i don't have my boddy back is is back i waigh 51kg again and everything still looks better then ever so i dont see that as the problem, i confronted him about this teen porn thing and he said that the thought of teen girls gust turns him on, so i told him im not a teen age girl so what now i dont turn him on.....
i just cant trust him anymore i have to take my power cort of the PC to work with me, but who says that he does'nt look at this type of porn at work, when no one is there, cause his bosses go out alot or maybe he is sleeping with the new chick that started working there, she started there about when all these thing started happening again, i cant stop but wondering.... what can be the problem...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): You are not the problem. From the sounds of it, he'll likely be in jail soon anyway. What he's doing is not only immoral, but illegal!
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (21 September 2008):
I think without DOUBT you aren't the problem, and he doesn't want to leave you - he wants to be with you. Why he has diverted into this inappropriate porn I don't know, but it really needs sorting out. He should go to a counsellor or someone else to talk about his problem, or he should look up a support site on the internet to stop him doing it.
But listen: it really sounds like he loves you and your kid. I know what it's like being sexually rejected, and I really sympathise with you - it's like pretty much the worse thing a partner can do to you. I've heard that some men do do this after you've had a baby - I've had it TWICE now, so I believe it!! And just when you need the person who loved you to reassure you that they still love you, and that even if your body might be a bit different, wow, you've given birth to your beautiful baby and it was all worth it and soon you'll be back in shape and he still loves you - hell, he loves you even more now.
That's what I want to hear, too, but I'm not hearing it, either. Listen, I really don't think you should panic, or worry: just get him to sort his crazy porn thing, as it is incredibly wrong and unhealthy, and wait for him to come back to you. I think he will. I know he isn't giving you what you want and need right now, but I guess that's because he can't. Talk to him. Honestly, some guys are really traumatised by the thought that you gave birth. See what's bothering him.
Hang on in there. No need to have a breakdown - you'll live without sex for a bit. And he comes quicker because he isn't having it that often, you know. 10 mins is still pretty good!
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (21 September 2008):
 I don't think you should feel as though you are the problem. Especially not to the extent where you're close to a nervous breakdown. Keep calm. You're a mum now and need to stay well for him.
Your partner has issues at the moment which he needs to sort out. He's blatently embarassed by his taste in porn (an issue which also needs sorting out; asap), with your confrontation he'll only feel worse (not your fault).
I think he needs someone to talk to about his life ordeals, how he's feeling and the problems he's having - things he might not want to talk about with you. You might see a change that way.
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