A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my ex for 8 years. My new boyfriend of 2 years (previously divorced within a year of marraige) now fiance is a lovely caring guy. My ex the opposite bad boy kind of a guy although I heard rumours about him cheating on me, which he may have done but never admitted it. My fiance is just not what I had hoped for. Hes lovely but too soft? He's too afraid to detatch from his family. I always find it hard to get him to make decisions for himself? He lives in London I live further and am going to have to move up with him. I cant trust that he will do right and think of me before asking his family. Hes very insecure due to his past girlfriends cheated on him and somehow jokes about my ex and how he still tries to get into contact with me. After a while I did contact my ex and we talk and text now and again now I miss that.. My fiance doesnt know this however he knows about my past and the cheating that may have gone on and he cant deal with the fact that he lives nearby and may try to contact me. He wants to know if hes out if i have seen or heard from him. I feel suffocated and dont want my ex back either but just miss the company and the way he was? any answers would be great!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, previasc96  +, writes (28 October 2008):
You still wanna be social with your ex. You are already betraying your fiance by contacting the ex behind his back. you shouldn't marry. you'd be living a lie.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Firstly; As far as I can tell from your post your still carrying a torch for your 'bad boy ex-boyfriend. Your reaction to the knowledge that he may have cheated on you, was interesting most girls would have wanted to play the maracas with his knackers' but you don't seem to phased by it.
Secondly; I genuinely believe you have feelings for both of these guys but maybe the truth of the matter is neither of them is really right for you, I perceive that each has certain qualities you are attracted to but neither can supply all of your needs. As a result you may wish to consider possibly puting off the move to London until you have decided which of the two guys (if either) you want to be with. So Before you go to London and or possibly marry your fiance you should honestly ask yourself is that what you want! because if you feel suffocated now, wait until your together on your own or married.
Finally be careful not to hurt your fiance by going behind his back in respect of contacting your ex as you indicate that your fiance is very insecure due to his past girlfriends having cheated on him because it won't look good if he finds out that you have lied to him by not admitting contact with your ex.
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