A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Don't get me wrong i love my boyfriend to bits. He means the world to me and i couldnt imagine my life without him but he lets his friends walk all over him. If his best friend rings him up and asks him to drop everything hes doing to go miles away to his house for a drink he will do it. If anyone asks him to borrow money or a cigarette (which are things neither of us can be throwing away) he will give them it and not even pressure them into giving it back. He lets everyone borrow everything off him, lets everyone treat him like crap and use him, hes like a door mat. I think he knows it but he still lets it happen and i dont understand why! He will pay for everyones night out, get pissed off about it but never ask for the money back, or maybe ask once and then forget. It really pisses me off because he just doesnt stand up for himself and i care about him and dont wanna see him being treat like shit, he deserves better! What can i do though? Their his friends and its the way its always been i cant exactly ask him to drop them.Another thing as well is, i cant stand one of his best mates. All his other mates i can just about deal with and get along with. But this one mate he has i really dont like her. She's the type of girl that has such low self esteem she just throws herself at anyone. She tries showing her tits off to everyone in the room cos she thinks shes the world. She's also sleeping with my boyfriends best friend and other friend at the same time, and my bf is getting dragged into the middle trying to keep her secrets. Its obviously gonna end up in a fight and i dont wanna see my bf get hurt. I just dont know what to do!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): Well, they are your boyfriends friends, so really, it is up to him to stand up for himself more if he wants to. I would advise trying to stay out of it if possible. Obviously though, it might be a good idea for you to talk to him, and tell him how concerned for him you are. But only he can change the situation with his friends if he wants to.
I suppose I am just thinking that if you tried to get too involved, it might turn into a bit of a war-zone. And even if your boyfriend complains about his friends, he might actually be okay with the way things are.
Let him know that you are there for him, but if possible, I think this is something he will have to sort out for himself if he wants to. Take care. x
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