| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: wot do you do if the man you are with is breaking your heart but it hurts just as much not to be with him?here is the story, im 18 and my bf (20) of over 2years joined the army on monday and it is killing me, ive tried keeping myself busy but it is not possible to be doing something every moment of the day. if conversation stops just for a minute i want to burst into tears it hurts so much, ive spoken to him for approx 15 minutes in 4 days, i just cant bear it anymore, my eyes are sore and puffy from all the crying and lack of sleep it feels like my heart has been torn out and ripped to pieces, i really want him to come back but i know its what he wants to do with his life and i cant stop him. i want to end it with him because i cant cope any more but not having him in my life anymore will hurt me just as much i love him so much and he is everything to me. please tell me what to do coz i just dont know anymore please please help me!! xXx Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (1 June 2006):
 You really must get a grip on this as he is away and doing a job, it is his career and one that you should be supporting him with, you do not want him to feel that he is making you so miserable that he cannot concerntrate or feels he needs to give it all up to make you happy.
Like the other aunt says write daily and enjoy your time with him and when he is away, make friends and do things with them, do some college course or something that interestsy you, anything initially to pass the time as believe me with the years it does get easier, this I know from experience.
Dry your eyes and fill your time with other stuff so that when he comes home on leave you have loads of possitive things to talk about because if not you will feel very jealouse of all the things that he has done, maybe you could join the territorial army or maybe join up yourself.
Think about what you are going to do with yourself but make it possitive.
A
female
reader, camille +, writes (1 June 2006):
 I can't imagine what you must be going through. Only you can choose whether to stay with him or not. If you truly love him and want him to be happy, you obviosuly have to accept what he wants to do. It's hard because it's not what you want, but there's little compromise with the army at this stage. If you can find the strength to be supportive of his dream, then you will overcome the sadness and look forward to the letters, phone calls, visits and a future down the line together. If you are willing to split up with him because you can't bear not seeing him, then weigh up that balance...see him every so often and still be his girl, or never see him at all? It's the lesser of two evils but it could work out for you. Keep your life full and get on with your own stuff but know that he is there. It's a harsh thing to say but no man should be your everything, you should have your own life and look out for yourself too. If you really can't bear him leaving you, maybe that's the issue (rejection) and something you need to look at more closely.
...............................
|
