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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hello! I'm a 19 year old girl at university, just finishing my second year out of three, and have been with my lovely boyfriend for over a year. He lives in my home town so we're kind of long distance but obviously I spend all my breaks from university at home so we manage pretty well. Basically he's recently told me that he's going travelling with 3 of his friends for 4 months at the end of the year. I totally support his decision and think it's a really good opportunity for him... however, I'm questioning whether we should break up (when he leaves) because of this? We were planning on going travelling together after I finish university (if we were still together etc), and while he says he can do both, I'm not entirely sure he's thought it through properly and could afford to do it etc? He says he'd like to stay together as he doesn't want to lose me. The thought of losing him does really upset me, but I just keep thinking that we're young, I'm only 19/20 once and I'm unsure if I should even be prepared to wait around for 4 months? I do love him very much, but the more I think about this the more I just end up going around in circles! The thought of maybe breaking up and then getting back together when he gets back did cross my mind.. but only for a split second before I realised that this is basically just giving him a free pass to do whatever he wants knowing that I'll be here when he gets home and the thought of him being with other girls and then coming back to me (even if it's a decision that I made for it to be like that) is definitely not something that I think i could cope with!I'm really not sure if I'm overthinking this and should just go with my gut instinct with the time comes.... but would really appreciate any opinions/advice on the whole situation?
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female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 If you couldnt cope with it, don't do it. 4 months really isnt as long as it feels to you right now. It will fly by and if you really do love each other then he wont even want to hook up with other girls while he's travelling. I dated a guy who took off around the world for a few months and im not gonna say it was easy but we managed fine. To be honest when hes travelling there will be so much for him to do and see he wont be that interested in girls. Its not like a boys holiday full of beaches, beers and women. You'll probably find you are a much stronger couple when you get back together because you have gone through that and stayed together.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): I'm not sure why my last reply hasn't been verified as being from the poster of the question?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): I trust him now.. however with him halfway across the world I'm not sure I would. Even if he leaves without the intention of being unfaithful, I think it's a different story when he's actually out there. I mean he's only 20, and it must be very easy to get carried away when you're along way from home and all aspects of your normal day to day life seem so far away. I'm not sure that I'm being naive in even hoping that he wouldn't cheat on me.
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A
male
reader, FabJai  +, writes (30 April 2008):
 My best advice for this situation is to not make an decision until he comes back from the trip. After he has returned have a chat with him about the future of your relationship. If you two are both in love then you want to stay strong and fight through any problems that arise. Love is not easy and if you think you may have found it, keep fighting for it if he is willing.
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