A
female
age
51-59,
*asminerose
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for almost two years now. He asked me to move in this last summer. One night I woke up and found him masturating to pictures of naked men. It turns out he has his own Webpage on this site called dudesnude.com. I have asked him more than once if he was gay, but just says he is bi. He seems to think that it is ok for him to look at pictures of naked guys, but I cannot. He is continuously communicating with guys online, and I think is on the verge of crossing the line. He says he would never cheat on me, but I just wish he would be honest with himself, as well as me. He is not attracted to me, he never kisses me, and has a huge obsession with playing with my ass. I know he has been with other guys, I have even joined in on occasion. He did not like that. He said he did not like seeing me with another guy, but I think he did not like the focus being taken off of him. Here is the deal. I quit my job to help him start a business. I make 600 dollars a month. I have no car, and am not allowed to go anywhere without him. I feel totally trapped with no way out, and no one around for support. What do I do? I need help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009): Hi there my name is amanda and i was really wondering if my boyfriend is gay, we have been together almost 7 years and we still up for a year and just got back together a few months ago there was a few things you said in ur letter than really make me stop and think, he does not ever kiss me or hug me doesnt want to have sex with me, that was a major issuse in our past which for a couple months when he wanted to get back together he seems interested again. Untill he moved back in, now it seems if he ever does want to be intimate he is only interested in anal, he takes pictures of the guys he works with and makes movies out of them that he watched over and over and over, he seems to always want to be around other guys, he is a big drinker and says that even when hes out hed never cheat on me , women dont appeal to him and he is not interested in any women he just wants to be with the guys. I was told when we were split up that he had a boyfriend but they broke up, he swears it is not true and blames everything on his drinking and smoking. I am really worried he is gay and just wont be honest with me or maybe himself
A
female
reader, BRITTBABII2 +, writes (8 January 2009):
Ok well while you are still with him then maybe you need to get an education because I'm guessing you don't have one. And you need to move out right away because that's wrong! Because if one day he does come out of the closet fully and he kicks you out then what!? so get out while you can and it should be easier if you don't have kids with him &+ you should NOT let him put you through this. All women are beautiful and if he doesn't kiss you or show affection then you find someone who will
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): You are with a man, who does not feel anything loving or romantic towards you. Get him out of your home, or move out, if it's his home. Plainly you are unhappy and getting demoralized being with this fellow. You are an older adult here, late 30's. By this age, adults can make decisions knowing that the benefits of wise decisions will be theirs to enjoy and the consequences of bad ones theirs to bear. So now...Go talk to employers or your previous one, look into getting your old job back or start sending out job resumes. You need to get financially stabilized. You need to protect yourself. And then once you do, get out there and look for your own place and use public transportation until you can afford a vehicle. There are ways and it isn't easy. This is the age of independence and empowerment for women. I feel no woman is that trapped that she has to just sit back and just accept her demise. There is no excuses for jeopardizing your happiness and your life, like this. There isn't always neat, simple ways to get out of unhappy situations, but there are ways. Even if feel alone, open your heart and mind to new friendships. But the most important thing you can do is, to believe in you and value yourself as a woman who can succeed without anyone, especially one who doesn't really care, and is entrapping you, only because you are allowing it. Everyone has someone close, they can talk to. Friends, family? Make a plan to get out, seek support from those people you can trust, even if they are far away and make your own life count. I really wish you luck and start investigating other options for yourself. You won't get there if your don't try on your own...good luck.
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A
female
reader, sandra78 +, writes (8 January 2009):
You definatly need to get out of this relationship. I've heard of some pretty unstable situations.. And this one is definatly top 10. Don't you have any family, or friends that can help? Im sure that if you explain the situation to anyone close to you, they will offer some kind of assistance. You may also want to check into a womans shelter in your area. I know it sounds horrible, but like I said.. Anything is better. This may sound harsh, but from how you decribe him.. There is nothing normal about him. You should be careful about your plans to leave the relationship.. It sounds like he may be a lil nutty. Good luck
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