A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year, and he broke up with me for about a month, 6 months ago, claiming he didn't love me any more. He then wanted me back, claiming he's severely depressed, which I've seen evidence of, and which he's seeking counselling for. (I'm 25, he's 26 btw). I was on vacation visiting my Dad for 2 months a couple months after we got back together, and the whole time I was away, he wanted dirty chat on the webcam and said he was always horny. I got back, and our sex life has dwindled. We have sex maybe once or twice a fortnight now. He says it's because of his depression and the fact that he's tired. (He gets up at 4:30am for work but finishes at 3pm). When I talked to him about it, he even shed a few tears, saying he was so sorry that he was always tired. I don't know whether his depression and tiredness is just an excuse... I've been concerned lately that he's clinging to me because he has no one else. He's in debt, and is having trouble paying all his bills so I help him out a bit here and there... Just small things like helping him with his food shopping and stuff. His family have distanced themselves from him recently due to a row with his sister, and since then, he's wanted to see me every day and texts me all the time. He's just got his own place, and before that, I'd see him maybe 3 times a week tops. I'm wondering if that's just cos his housemate didn't want someone else there all the time... Maybe I'm just being paranoid and turning this around because I'm scared he'll dump me again?He's very loving other than the sex, and tells me he wants to marry me, be with me forever blah blah... I just don't know what to believe, and I hate living in fear. My happiness shouldn't depend on him, I know, but I can't seem to help it. I don't have any real friends to turn to either, so please give me some advice. Sorry this is a bit of a garbled mess, I'm just trying to get all my thoughts down as best as I can....Thanks for listening/ reading! Please give me your opinions!
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female
reader, girl from bristol  +, writes (31 January 2010):
hi i think you go your thoughts down great depression can make you tired emotionally and physical as you dont sleep very well i had depression myself i dont know why he wanted you there only three time a week it would not be his housemate though and low sex drive is another symptom of depression i think he was just trying to protect you when he said he did not love you he really does or he would not have got back togehter with you and you dont say you want to marry somewhone unless you mean it just support him and give him time patience and your love marriage is a big commitment he loves you being tired was not a excuse
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