A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for over 19 months, we broke up once for a couple of weeks but got back together and since we got back about three months ago we have been getting on really well but for the last week or so we have been arguing and im just exhausted! it started last monday when he refused to come over, I had promised my brother (who has autism and learning difficulties) that I would watch a certain film with him and I told my boyfriend and he just refused point blank to come over (I understand he doesnt have to but his attitude about it really upset me) he texted me saying "im not sitting through that film" and I could tell he had an attitude so I just said ok but throughout the film he kept texting me saying "how is the film going" which annoyed me and I didn't reply as I didnt want my brother to know I was upset. I never really wanted to watch the film and boyfriend knew this I just watched it for my brother, that is why I was annoyed.Now today I am totally upset again, on Friday I thought ok it is going to be boiling on Monday I will book the day off and spend the day with my boyfriend (I asked him if he was up for it and he was excited) but this morning he texted me saying his dad's laptop broke and he couldn't come because he had to fix it so i texted him saying "yeh but I have booked a day off, its going to be wasted" to which he then rang me saying he cant help it, its either pissing his dad off or me he cant win...but I just dont understand why his dad should be pissed off, there is another pc in the house and it could have waited a few hours but no he didnt want his dad pissed off.He did offer to come by saying fine pick me up ill just argue with my dad later....yeh right, I am obviously not going to cause arguments with him and his dad so I said no leave it. The thing is he keeps texting and texting me, i really don't know what he wants me to say..Oh im fine im not upset at all, of course I amI just don't know what to do anymore, I don't feel like I am over reacting just really fed up, I was really looking forward to today and cant calm down :( I was lucky my mum was off today and she came to the beach with me and calmed me down a bit but now I am fearful of each text he sends because im getting even more upset as he is not being very nice just argumentative with me, defending himself and his dad, I dont want to bitch to him about his dad but I did tell him the situation upset me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2013): Listen closely sweetie. There will be many battles everyone rows what you have to do is pick your fights carefully.. This isn't one of them. Okey your snissed his dad took up his time and you took the day off.. So you box clever.. You don't row with him say cheerily 'well I could come over, while your fixing it, then we can do something?'' Or say well I'm going to the beach.. So how about you take me for a drink later to make up, and who knows I might even let you kiss me after lol lol it's light it's teasy and your dufussing a probably bad situation .. He was probably jealous regarding spending timeWith your bro and honestly he needs to get over that .. But again instead of arguing over it let it drop now..There is a lot of stubbornness from you both in this relationship, you both have to learn to get on to make this work or leave it be..Have a talk with him not over text but face to face.. Tell him you care for him but your both damaging your relationship with these games and drama .. So you both need to have a game plan to make it work.. What does he feel you could better ? What do you feel he could? You both need to reach a compromise . If you want to be together. ..Take care sweetie x
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