A
female
age
41-50,
*ibiella
writes:I have a bf and lately i noticed that he was always broke..he borrowed money and doesnt bother in paying..now he uses my phone line and it was cut due to overlimit and up to this time he didnt settle the bill its late for 2 weeks already and the bill already doubled..also during week ends we spend time together and i have noticed that he only got money enough for his transportation and snacks...im bothered and that is whats going on instead of letting the relationship grow im doubtful that im just being used here...we are just 6 months in a relationship and im really very much concern of this...i have a lot of questions i can see that he loves me but im afraid because i cant see him struggling to be on top..less action more words..loves to make promises but cant stand with the promises...pls need some advicePls help me...im deeply in trouble although he is not borrowing big amount its just that sometimes he is asking for a transport because he doesnt even have money for his fare back home...at first i see it in just an ordinary thing but now i think of it as a negative factor because he doesnt even care paying his dues...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (3 June 2014):
Simple...You know it's wrong what he is doing, so why is he still your boyfriend? That's like paying a guy to stay with you.
A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (3 June 2014):
 This guy is using you. You deserve better. Whenever we get used for money, sex, or anything you care to mention, it is because we allow it to happen.
The Bank of Bibiella needs to put up the "position Closed" sign and tell him to take a hike.
YOU need to take charge, take control and stop paying his way through life. You also need to bear in mind that if you get into debt over him, it will be your credit rating that's effected and you that the authorities will be chasing, not him!
If he loved you he wouldn't put you in this position. A promise of Love is something that's easy to claim, harder to actually deliver on. Judge his actions not his words. You are his meal ticket.
Besides, if you keep paying for everything, where is the incentive for him to get his act together? Why would he sort himself out when he knows he can grovelling to you and get money out of you?
Mark
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 June 2014):
 I agree with Eyeswideopen.
START saying no, tell him, I have LEND you so much money already that I HAVE NONE to give. You have racked up my phone and I can't PAY it.
See what he says, and GET your phone back, don't let him dig a hole and stick you in it (financially).
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 June 2014):
 You are allowing this to happen. Just say no. You'll find right quick whether he's just using you or truly does care about your relationship.
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