A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:well i have been with my boyfriend for aprox 2 years now but we are always arguing its usually to do with him being jealous, some people told me hes just being stupid whilst others said it was my fault. about 2 months ago i broke up with him and he called me 3weeks later asking me to talk to him then we got back together and he has gone to spain for 2 month and hes being really weird with me when i email him ive told him i miss him and he said ok? i asked him whats wrong but he just says nothing .. i dont know if hes mad at me or if something happend with family or whatever ... should i leave him or wait until he tells me . ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (9 November 2010):
Hi there. It's possible you are outgoing each other. As you are growing more mature, your interests might be changing (or at least his interests might be).
He might not want to be in a relationship anymore. He might be going through a phase where he is trying to find himself and what he wants out of life, and is seeing being in a relationship as being restricting. This could also explain the arguments you have been having with him.
As he probably doesn't have a clue how to put his true feelings into words, he is doing what a lot of young men do, and that is to be evasive and not want to talk about it particularly.
He doesn't want to hurt your feelings by saying something that will hurt you, so instead, is choosing to saying nothing and being kind of offhand about it.
The more you try to pressure him for an answer, the less likely he is to give you one. He might even get angry and upset if you continue to pursue it with him, and in frustration say - "It's over!" one day.
Men keep a lot of thoughts and feelings to themselves, and women can find that incredibly frustrating, so there's not a lot you can do about it really. You can't force him to make a decision.
If he seems angry with you, it might be because you are asking him what's wrong all the time. Men to get really annoyed with women when they say that.
So from now on, give him some space. No more asking him what's wrong. Just cool it and be friendly with him instead.
Don't email him too much or text him either. Try to do nothing until he gets back from Spain. Wait until he calls you.
Quite often the more women try to contact their boyfriends, it can chase them away altogether. It can come across as very controlling, needy and desperate - even though you don't feel that way. I'm talking about what he thinks.
When he does return from Spain, see how he is when he calls you, and just take it slowly.
When you see each other, don't keep asking him if everything is ok, because that will annoy him - it annoys all men. It's often the cause of many relationship breakdowns and endings.
So be very careful how you act when around him again. Try to relax and be yourself. Don't make him your whole life, have a life of your own as well - your own friends, own social life, own hobbies and interests.
Perhaps while you were with him, you gave up part of your life and gave all your time to him instead. This puts a lot of pressure on a guy to make you happy, when it really shouldn't be that way at all.
It is up to us to make ourselves happy, no-one else can do that. It is our own responsibility.
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