A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 17 years old and my boyfriend is 22. How do i tell my parents? Me and him are in love, we want to be together forever! What do i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, happytochat +, writes (11 January 2008):
I think the main issue here is that when you are young you dont see things for what they are, you often take things at face value and are blinded by love. This is something I think we all go through though and the way we overcome it is through guidance and experience. Sometimes though our parents can be scared to allow us to have that growing expeirence. So what do we do? We allow them to be part of the experience and to guide us through it. Make them feel included in your relationship with your bf, make them part of it, and they will feel better about it.
I myself have had a bf that my parents didnt approve of. Some of the thigns I found helpful were:
-be open with your parents
-let them be part of the experience
-let your parents meet your bf and let them spend lots of time together to get to know each other, because if he has good intentions he will be ok with spending time with your parents
-tell your parents about any troubles you may have in your relationship, this makes them happy that you are being honest and will come to them for any advice and so on that you need
-allow your parents to help you with any probelms you have
-ask your parents for advice and their opinion
Most importantly, be aware of the reasons why your parents wouldnt approve of you dating an older guy. I assume one of their main worries would be that he is older and most likely would be expecting sex at some time or another in your relationship...now depending on what your parents views are on sex will depend on their reaction, however, no doubt that they will fear you may get used for sex or pressured into it when you are too young for it. You need to ask your parents what their main concerns are and work together to find ways to deal with them. For examle, if they fear you will be pressured into sex. Then talk to them about your beliefs about sex, talk to your bf about his, maybe allow your bf to talk to your parents about it too. Talk to your parents about ways of saying no and what you can do IF he does try to pressure you. If they know you have a strategy to deal wiht it, then they will feel more confident.
Hope this has helped, feel free to PM me :)
A
female
reader, nikki-jane  +, writes (11 January 2008):
 Firstly do not hide anything from your parents or go behind there back as if they found out it would be worse for you, be open and honest and i am suer they will come round, will they be that upset? How do you think they will react? You might be surprised they are ok, offer hem to meet him.
I am 22 and my partner is 31, we met when i was 18 with no problems or gossip either side of the family.
There is only a 5year age gap between you, try to think of it as when you are 22 he is going to be 27, that sounds like hardly any age gap.
Much love xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): I personally dont have a problem with age gaps but i can imagine how your parents may feel. You are their baby still and only just 17 and he is 22 but the best way around this is to be open and honest and tell them as it is. Dont try to hide anything because if it comes from someone else then it will look all the worse. Just tell them that you are happy and want them to be happy about it also, but i cannot guarantee what their reaction may be. They might be disappointed because they want you to see the world and have a life before you settle down to just one boyfriend or they could be over the moon, but you wont know until you have that chat with them.
take care and let me know the outcome.
xx
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