A
female
age
36-40,
*ojo2626
writes:Ok, so i've been dealing with a lot lately. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months or so, and its been rocky at times and great at others... I felt as though he was hiding something so a few days ago I logged onto his e-mail account for the first time ever.. I was absolutly disgusted with what i found. In his outbox he had left some messages from a couple nights before.. He had was talking to a 50yr old man about meeting up for sex.. The messages were pretty detailed, and he even included his phone number. As soon as a saw this, i packed up all my stuff and left. When we finally talked about it he told me he was drunk and just messing around with the guy.. I refused to believe it, just because the conversation was mostly him saying really gross stuff about what he wanted to do when they met up, and he gave the guy his number! He told me that he never met up with the guy, and when the guy tried to text him the day after he apologized and told him it was a joke. I don't know what to believe. I really want to believe that he didn't do it, because i love him, and want to stay with him.. But why would he have given him his number? and why would he have done it in the first place? He later admited that it was just a fantasy of his and he would never actually act on it.. I don't know what to believe, what to think.. someone please give me some advice, i don't know who to talk to about this with out risking his reputation. Also, it really scares me that he could have met up with this guy, its really putting me at risk since i slept with him. :( he swears up and down that nothing happened tho and is begging me to come back. . says its the worst mistake hes ever made, and it wasn't real .
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2008): If you take him back you are setting yourself up for a whole lotta hurt down the line. He is GAY! I am sure he can't help it and I am sure he loves you, but his feelings won't magically go away and how long is it before he gets these urges again? A week, a month, a year? Whatever, it will still be there bubbling away in the background. He will say whatever he can to get you back, but take it from me, no straight guy fantasises about gay sex with a 50 year old guy. He IS gay.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (5 December 2008):
 Honey! ask yourself, would you have done this to him? I would say the answer is NO. If you hadnt found out, I think he would have gone through with it. The only reason he wants you to go back is to cover his arse, and to stop you saying anything to anyone. Its really not normal behaviour is it???
Babes, dont go back because he will eventually admit he is gay, and then you will get hurt all over again.
We all have our little fantasies its true, but to actually arrange to meet a 50 year old guy for sex, and give him his number, I am sorry to say its ringing not only alarm bells, but Bow-Bells.
Your better off finding a new man that will make you happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2008): Sorry but I would also be hard pressed to believe his story about being drunk and putting his contact number on an email as a joke. He had every intention of meeting up with the guy for sex. The question is, how many other times has he done something similar. Go get yourself tested for STD's and HIV.
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