A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been living together in my place for awhile and he hates when my cat sleeps in our bed. It's a subject we continually argue about, even though it's ridiculous. He is not allergic, he just simply thinks that animals don't belong on the bed. I've had me cat forever and i place her on my bed each night because she's always slept with me. Now that he's here, she rarely comes in my room anyways.He says when we get married and have our own place "that he owns", he gets say in what happens. I think he's being disrespectful. What are some suggestions/strategies for finally resolving our conflict?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): I agree with your boyfriend here. I like pets but in my home, they do have a place and that is not on the bed with my partner and I. Cats are clean animals but my cat uses the litter box. So I often wonder after they've been in the box, what type of little bacterial germies they have on their paws and what do they really leave behind them...eww-lol. Your relationship is more important, keep the bedroom door closed and train your cat to sleep elsewhere.
A
female
reader, mum2be  +, writes (15 March 2007):
I have to say, i agree with you bloke... animals don't belong on the bed. However, you had this cat before you met him, and had set up a routine which he came in and tried to destroy. Also, since it is your house, you have a right as to who sleeps where. If i were you, instead of arguing with him, which causes you both stress, i would just simply say... the cat stays... you work out whether you stay in the bed or on the floor!!! (He should see sense soon enough)
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): The 'that he owns' bit scares me! what else is he going to own? Take care before you get married to this one. You have had the cat forever, why should it be pushed out of your life. But i can see his point, if he has never had a pet, or never had an animal sleep on his bed. I used to love my cat sleeping on the bed with me. When the bloke came along, i retrained her to a lovely little furry bed of her own, which she loves and always sleeps on. Compromise.
Take care
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): How can you see this conflict being resolved most easiest?
The animal no longer sleeps in your bed /or/ He makes himself comfortable with sleeping with it?
I don't think he is being disrespectful at all - you have to really love cats to want to share a bed with them.
If he finds it uncomfortable then I doubt he will ever change. For the sake of compromising in the relationship the best thing, in my opinion, is that the cat is banned from sleeping in the bed at night time. I don't think you're going to be able to solve it any other way, other than sleeping in seperate beds.
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