A
female
age
30-35,
*ittleRobyn
writes:HiyaaIm 19 and currently 32 weeks pregnant..My boyfriend (and father of the baby) is 18 and we have been together about 20 months.The baby was unplanned.. but we decided to keep her and things were ok.Recently we havent stopped arguing though, and i cant take the stress.. mainly its over him 'borrowing' money from me.He currently owes me £200, but hes always asking for more, and if i say no, he falls out with me.I havent worked since i was around 10 weeks pregnant, as i was really ill due to my pregnancy, but my boyfriend has a well paid job and hasnt bought anything for the baby or given me anything towards her.Although he only got paid on friday, Today hes asked me for £20 (which is in an account specifically saving for the baby) and he seems to think as im not going to spend the money its alright for him to ask for it, even though he hasnt put a penny towards it.I just dont know what to do, i dont want him to fall out with me but its not fair to keep asking me for money(and he says this £20 is for his mum... which i really dont believe)... and she also only got paid last friday!!Please help me.. I just dont know what to do!!xx
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female
reader, LittleRobyn +, writes (10 September 2008):
LittleRobyn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm completely prepared for having my daughter, having bought everything i need myself, i know it will be hard but running away is definately not something im going to do.
If he wants 2 dump on her he can, but i wont be.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 September 2008):
 This is why child support laws were introduced. As Phil suggests, if he don't shape up real soon, use the law, that is what it is therefor.
You made your choice, you are keeping the baby. That is fine, but that means you got a kid to take care off, you can't afford to raise a boyfriend as well.
Your boyfriend is a user, sponging money of you and you clearly can't afford that. Aren't you a bit young to have a gigolo?
You can continue hoping that he will grow up but he won't. Tell him in no uncertain terms that play time is over and he either takes full responsibilty for the baby or he is out of your life and the law will come to collect child support.
It is time to grow-up, you can't play the teengirl anymore. No more games hoping that you can change that no-good guy everyone warned you about. It is why teen-pregnancies are to be avoided, not because the girls themselves aren't ready to raise a kid, but because they often aren't ready to accept that their boyfriends aren't and won't be changing anytime soon.
Best of luck to you, but there are two people that need to grow up here, and only one of you can't run away from this baby. Guess who that is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2008): He's obviously totally irresponsible where money is concerned, he considers the world owes him a living and this doesn't bode well for the future.
Don't lend him any more. If he still owes you £200 it's hardly a loan is it? It's more like you're giving him gifts of money. He needs to grow up and show some responsibility towards you and the baby - which I guess will arrive in about a month's time.
Make a list of the things he should be buying for the baby - with his money - and tell him in no uncertain terms that he should be supporting you rather than the other way round.
If he ignores you get rid of him and get in touch with the Child Support Agency who will extract money from his paypacket and give a percentage of it to you before he gets to see it.
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