A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so i have had sex with my boyfriend many times.. but now when we are messing around he and i want to have sex he cant get hard i dont understand why and im really confused.. he also told me that before i moved in with him he was "horny all the time and now he feels like he is just getting old" im not really sure what to say to that.. but could someone please give me some advise on what to do cause i have no clue.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): Hey.I'm a male. A few months back I had exactly the same problem. My girlfriend and I were fooling around but somehow I had trouble getting and maintaining an erection. Thankfully this is no longer the case. In fact, as soon as this problem happened for the first time, it put a lot of stress and pressure on me for the next time we wanted to make love: "Will it work this time?!?" This of course caused me to not perform a second time, a third time, and so on.... This is typical performance anxiety. All for eyes were on my penis and that was just too much pressure for me...Then one night we decided to just take it easy, no pressure to actually have sex, just massage each other and fool around. With the "performance pressure" relieved, I of course had a raging erection within just a few minutes of fooling around, and we ended up having good sex.Please do not think that this has anything to do with you. My girlfriend asked me if it was because she did not turn me on, and having her think so actually devastated me; nothing could be further from the truth. I think she is the sexiest woman on earth.Just take your boyfriend to bed or the couch, turn on the TV and suggest you massage each other with some oil. Once he starts rubbing your thighs, breasts, neck, shoulders, etc, without feeling the pressure of actually having to have sex, I'm sure you will eliminate performance anxiety from the equation and that he will end up with a raging erection that the both of you can enjoy.The key is to make him feel no pressure to perform. That way, he actually will perform :-)Johnny
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): I can tell you this has happened to me several times. It's completely normal. Stress is the #1 libido killer for me. There is nothing a woman can do to make a guy horny if he is so stressed or nervous. Best reccomendation I have is to create an atmoshpere of absolute safety and comfort in the bedroom. If he can totally relax, and I don't just mean physically, he will stand a better chance of performing better. Find out the #1 thing he would like to do. I bet it isn't sex right now. Maybe its sleep, maybe a trip somewhere, maybe a party, maybe just talking. Find out what he'd like to do and let him do it or do it with him, but without presure. Then make him comfortable at home and let what happens happen. Keep doing this and he will come around. It's temporary, I assure you. If it does persist however, have him see a doctor.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): It's just becoming routine to him. For example... Let's say that pizza is your favorite food but you only eat pizza once a week. Suddenly you can have all the pizza you want. It won't take long before you get tired of pizza now will it?You need to hold out on him for a while. If your willing to have sex anytime he wants to there's no challange and it gets boring really fast. Make him work for it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 July 2010):
Tiredness, stress, diet, performance anxiety etc. There is a huge list that could account for this. If he's tired, then it won't work properly. If he's stressed at work or something like that, it won't work properly, and if he's eating crap food and junk food rather than decent food, then that will affect him. Maybe step back a bit and don't worry about sex for the moment, and just look at his life and see if he's tired or something. Start there and see if it can be helped.
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