A
female
age
51-59,
*ickeyrae66
writes: My boyfriend has stolen things from me and given them to someone else! Most of the things are things he has given to me. He does not think he has done anything wrong because he gave them to me, so he says that it was his anyway. He has given them to his ex or someone he barely knows. He has even made me feel guilty that I lost the item. How do I make him understand that this is a betrayl and wrong?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): You don't. You dumb the jerk and stop returning his calls.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): This is really bizarre. I have bought things for my husband and then long term borrowed them, like his ipod...is this the same kind of thing in overdrive?? There really seems to be something very odd going on here though. Is he actively trying to piss you off? Is he looking to break up but too chicken to do it? Or is there the possibility that he has some sort of mental illness? Or is he just miserly?
You need to sit him down and ask him what is going on. Ask how he would feel if you gave his possessions away. Tell him, its not something you can accept from him. Tell him he needs to explain his actions and what was going through his mind when he was doing this. Take care.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (2 November 2010):
The fact that he doesn't understand why you're upset suggests that you two are operating on fundamentally different sets of values. Doesn't sound like the basis for a good relationship in the long run, does it?
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 November 2010):
Haha so basically he's re-gifting? I'm sorry but what a snake!
Now, he steals these things from your home? Well, if he has the receipts to prove he bought those items then legally you can't get them back. Other than telling him you really can't get him to see what he is doing is wrong..he's stealing items from you that he originally bought for you, then gives them to exes or whomever. I'm going to take a stab and say he's doing this because he feels you don't deserve these gifts, or he's a klepto. It's possible he needs some counseling.
Stealing is grounds for a breakup, at least to me.
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