A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:im in a relationship with a man that never wants sex. I am starting to feel very lonely all the time and find myself crying myself to sleep at night wondering what i have done wrong. Yet i have caught him watching porn and relieving himself to it yet he says he has no sex drive.. I love him dearly but am totally lost as to what to do. Every time i try and talk to him about it he just gets angry with me and it ends in a huge argument. I am really afraid that maybe he watches a lot more porn than im thinking. Maybe he is addicted to it and cant stop and then when it comes time to be with me he cant coz he has already relieved himself. A lot of negative stuff is going through my head at the moment. He is only 41. And if he has no sex drive why does he watch so much porn. I dont nag about it i keep it to myself coz its so much easier than arguing about it all the time. Mind you its the only thing we do argue about. I havent had sex in nearly 4 months and it driving me nuts. When we got together i told him i had a high sex drive and he said that was great.. What the hell is it great for if he never wants it. Im really going nuts here any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance for your help
View related questions:
porn, sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you to all who responded would it be wrong of me to go and find sex elsewhere and still stay in this relationship. Im hoping its just a phase hes going thru but not real sure. Im sort of thinking that maybe the longer i let him go with it the more he will get used to it and want it like this all the time
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): hmm.
Well I don't think porn is the end of the world, but if he never wants to have sex with you and has replaced you with porn, that is a problem.
The problem with porn, is that it spins this elaborate fantasy. Girls doing things that wives wont.. girls looking ways that most regular wives can't. Wearing sexier clothing, and so forth. Not to mention the porn star dudes and their mile long dongs. lol. Yeah, so I think he is lost in the fantasy.
You need to find out what kinkiness he is into.. and do it if you want a good sex life. Bring the fantasy HOME. It might be roleplay, outfits, particular situations, dominatrix... and so forth. Or maybe a good bj would do the trick..we love those. Also where you let a man release is very important to alot of us.. Mouth...face...cleavage...and so forth.
Trust me... he has a sex drive, there are just certain nasty things that excite him. You might be disgusted by some of them, but if in the long run you get a more regular and satisfying sex life, it may just be worth it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): hi
Sorry things are in such a state! What I'm hearing is that there is nothing actually wrong with your bf sex drive ( because he clearly has one ) The problem seems to be he isnt sexually attracted to you. He Proberly loves or likes you in otherways but not sexually :(
This is serious! As you can already know, apart from leaving you frustrated, this could in the long run affect your self esteem.
To give you a more accurate suggestion I would need to know more about your personal circumstance because there are many reasons why Men refuse Sex.
However you HAVE already tried discussing this with him and NOT recived any Ans.
So at the very least you need to accept that he has made his mind up here, and as such you will also need to make some decisions
i.e
1.Come to terms with the fact your in a sexles relationship ( many people are)
or
2. Explain gently to him that you'll never be happy living like this and ask HIM to suggest an alternative that could suit you both as a couple.
See what he comes up with and baseany further decisions on that.
I really hope things workout for you
M
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): Okay,
In my experience, there is sex with a woman which is awesome and then porn which is just about relief and not really what you really want. If your watching a lot of porn and not having sex its probably because you cant actually deal with the emotional aspects of having sex which would incude love and intimacy. This may sound cruel but it sound like you want love and your perfectly entitled to look for it.
Decide what you want for yourself, if you want to fell like your helping him get over his porn issues and one day he will have a normal sex drive again the fine stick with him. If you want to be loved and to have your sexual needs met then ask yourself honestly is this the right guy. Only you have that answer.
Best of luck I hope this helped,
Elpigaro
...............................
|
