A
female
age
36-40,
*eedadvice91
writes:I have been in a relationship with a guy from past 6 years. we broke up for a year but got back together again. We both love each other a lot but from the past 6 months he has been taking me very casually. He cuts the call in between when ever he feels like...he shouts a lot without any reason and does many more stupid things. When i try to make him understand or try to talk about his problem he will say that dont irritate me. I have tried talking to him about this a lot. He will be fine for a day or to and then he again becomes like this.Earlier he used to feel like spending all his time with me but now he gets irritated even if we talk for 10mins.I really love this guy and i know he loves me too. But i dont know why he is acting this way. Please suggest me something. In urgent need of your help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013): I am not going to sugar-coat my advice. I am going to give you something to think about. You took him back, because you never got over the first breakup.Remember why you initially broke up? You looked back on the good times of the past and overlooked the reason they all ended. Now you're back to square one. All the time apart could have been used to get over him; and find someone who could love you. Most importantly, treat you well. You have to believe you are worth it, before you can really make that move.You gave it a second chance. Don't call your addiction to him and your complacency "love." Your fear to move on without him overwhelmed you. You took him back with all his faults and reasons you both fell apart. You thought you could fix him. Now you realize the error of taking him back.What difference does it make that he loves you, when he shouts at you and treats you terribly? You had to bring your problem here; because you couldn't find any other way to fix it. The best way to fix it, is to end it.You are very young, so you let love over-shadow your better judgment. You tell yourself over and over, he means well and he loves me. He failed after you gave him six years of your life. He is stealing even more time from your life, that could be better spend improving yourself and finding love and happiness. Rebuild your confidence, boost your self-esteem, and reclaim your self-respect.It doesn't matter what the reason is for his mood swings and meanness toward you. Drug addiction or not, enough is enough. You're putting your life through a grinder with a man; because you refuse to allow yourself to get over him.It is time you come to your senses and give up on this failure of a relationship. You deserve happiness, comfort, and love. You deserve a peaceful relationship with the normal ups and downs; and arguments that end in forgiveness and compromise.It's all in your hands. There are no children, there is no marriage; therefore, it comes down to the courage to end it and move on. Look forward, don't look back.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2013): It sounds like your boyfriend has two problems. The first problem is I believe drug addiction. I had a boyfriend once who acted just like your boyfriend. Smoking crack and doing other drugs can induce this kind of behaviour. Your second problem is I believe he just really doesn't give a dam another side affect of heavy use of drugs. What to do? Take a good look at this and I believe you just better move on our your going to be for a lot more hurt and pain and it really doesn't have anything to do with you. Try counselling but I believe that is really just a waste of time. Pack your bags and get the hell out of this cruel relationship. Your going to end up on the short end of the stick and it isn't going to be pretty for you.
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