A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need help!My boyfriend has become close to another girl after helping her with some advice. He's been open with me about it and says the feelings he had for her were NOTHING compared to what he had for me. Nothing really happened between them physically. He's told her there could never be anything because he is with me.Anyways, what do you do in that situation? I love this man more than ANYTHING and don't want to lose him. But do I hold on to him out of fear of losing him? Or do I tell him I don't want to be with him and then have faith that if it's meant to be he'll get whatever he needs to out of his system and then come back to me? I just don't want to keep him in my life thinking he might rather be with someone else, even though he assures me I'M his choice and he's choosing ME. Am I just being crazy? I don't want to feel like when he's not talking he's thinking about her etc. It drives me nuts. I feel degraded even worrying about all this. Help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): Thanks everyone. What I'd really like to do, now that we're back together and committed to making things work.. is give our relationship a real chance and go travelling together for a year. That way I think we can just focus on US.. and it would help me realise that it's only ME in his heart.. which I'm sure there is. We have been discussing the details of what happened everyday for the past five weeks. I keep asking him to repeat things again and then check for accuracy. I know it's nuts, but I just keep thinking if I hear things again I'll feel better and trust him. I know I can LEARN to trust him again, but it's very hard. Little things will happen that will trigger a memory of when he had been distant with me. I just think that if he's committed to making it work with me, that we should move away and start travelling (as we'd originally hoped to do) and make a fresh start together. AND it helps that SHE can't just POP over and see him like she used to.
A
female
reader, cnith  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 How about you take him at his word and believe that what he said was true? That he chose YOU and that his feelings for the other chick were just minor?I know you can drive yourself crazy with this thinking. What if's are hell. So stop it.Now if he gives you indications he's cheating, dump him. But if it was a minor thing, don't worry about it. If he's still helping her out, then let him.Relationships are about trust.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): i'm pretty sure if he didn't wanna be with you then he wouldn't.just ask him what he wants, if he says you, believe him until he proves otherwise.this girl is probably just after him, just stick by him and he'll see her for what she is and you'll be fine (:
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 You have to show your b/f that you are better than that girl and you should not stop him from seeing her if they have any legitimate business.
You need to feel more secure in your b/f's love. If he leave you for her, you only have to blame yourself because you pushed him off.
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