A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. So I don't normally come to these kinds of websites but I feel like I have no where to turn. I've read relationship books I've searched online for answers, talked with friends etc. So I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year we are both 21 and I have a 2 year old daughter (that isn't his) any way him and I live together so we rushed things I guess you can say. But everything was going fine until about December or January. Our relationship just hasn't been the same. We started fighting a lot not getting along and he started changing not showing any love or affection, we wasn't communicating, he stopped giving me a attention. And now it seems like it's getting worse! He used to be this really sweet loving and caring guy and now he's the biggest jerk I've ever met. Some days he'll be all lovey and stuff and sweet but most of the time hes a jerk not wanting to cuddle or be lovey he says he doesn't like it but he used to love being that way. He doesn't want me posting on his Facebook saying that I love him. We don't go out and do anything we stay home and most of the time stay in different rooms. He refuses to leave the house or even go anywhere with me. There's a festival in town and he won't go he said he's went a million times and don't like it. His friends and him are planing things for the summer that I'm not included in. He's just changed into a very mean person. He claims its because of me because I'm to controlling and don't let him have a life. and because I nag and bitch all the time which I don't only when he makes the worst messes after I clean up and because he won't clean up after his self EVER! We both want to stay with each other but Im tired of having a relationship where we don't do anything and there's not that much love from his end. Were both 21 but it feels like we are 60! What should I do?
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female
reader, MSA +, writes (2 June 2014):
 My suggestion would be for you to take your daughter out more often, or hang out with your friends more often. Let him have his space and stay home alone if he wishes. This might work out to benefit the both of you in the end.If he really loves you and still wants to be in a relationship with you, he will begin missing you when you are not around. He will miss your 'nagging'. He will wonder where you are going and might even ask you about it or want to join. This will be a sign that he only wanted some space and not to end your relationship.If after a few weeks of 'alone time' he still doesn't come around, then it probably means he wants out of the relationship. Then at that point, you will be some what adjusted to not having him participate in your outings and enjoying time without him anyway... hence, may be easier to break things off at that point.Good luck!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 June 2014):
 He is done with the relationship and doesn't have the balls to end it. He is hoping by being a total dickwad that YOU will grow a set and END it.
Which, I hope you will.
You say yo both want to stay together, I disagree. LOOK at his actions. His accusations that you are controlling, you nag, you bitch - all your problems are YOUR fault (according to him). He has stopped with affections, attention and he doesn't want to DO anything with you. He is planning the summer spend with friends, NOT you. - that really doesn't sounds like a guy who WANTS to stay with a girl.
As for not wanting lovey dovey stuff on his Facebook, I don't blame him. It would be kind of FAKE if you two are fighting. And let's face it... IT'S FACEBOOK, not reality.
Time for you to leave or for him to move out.
He isn't going to change, because he has already decided that you are to be blamed, NOT him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2014): "What should I do?"
Think of your daughter.
Do you really want her to grow up in a toxic environment where Mommy and her shack-up boyfriend spend all of their time engaging in petty, chicken-bleep arguments about absolutely nothing?
You gave up the right to indulge in such juvenile foolishness when you chose to raise the child you conceived as a child. Your daughter's emotional well-being and long-term best interests should be paramount and your love life should be well down the list of your priorities.
Grow up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2014): after reading your text i can only say get out of there get rid and start again if you can. you are both wasting your lifes what is there to fight for to stay together for. breaking up is hard and can be very emotional talk with your partner and come to an agreement. honestly you are both to young for so much misery, life could be better for you both ask yourself if its like this now what will the future hold good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2014): Have you sat down and talked things out with out arguing? Its hard starting out when you are young and your relationship is "new." You are still figuring out what bothers each other, and how to get a long and live with each other day to day. The only thing that concerns me is him not wanting to take you out/go anywhere with you. That would be a red flag, and definitely something to discuss separately (one issue at a time.) I wish you and he the very best.
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