A
female
age
41-50,
*adako
writes:i'm in a serious relationship with a younger man. my family is dead against it and will cut ties with me if i ever marry him. trouble is he has a temper problem which leads to most of our fights. he promised to see a shrink but gets complacent after every visit which is usually after a fight. we recently had a row in public and i swore not to see him till he sees his shrink, this time with me. the shrink is busy for a couple of weeks. should i get an appointment with another doc, wait for this one and not see him till then, or wait and meet him in the interim anyway? pls, this is a desperate situation. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): Yes. He needs to see one ASAP to show he is serious about gaining the skills to temper his anger and how to deal and feel things in an appropriate, healthy manner.
He needs to make the appointment to show his commitment otherwise; he isn't going to change and he doesn't see it as being a problem which does spell out disaster.
This isn't a time to compromise. This is serious. He has to show his commitment and his willingness to improve.
And it will be months of therapy, even years before he can retrain himself and break out of habits.
You can wait the two weeks Sweetie; it is for everyone's betterment that you do.
He should want to improve himself. You should want a man to treat you with love and respect. Your parents should support you on your choice of a partner and they can do this when they know and trust in your choice that he will meet all your needs and fulfill his role properly.
I hope things work out for you.
Best Wishes.
A
female
reader, CONFUSEDD  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 Are you sure this is a relationship you want to be in? Personally I beleieve temper problems don't ever completely go away. And your family..the people that love you don't seem to like him, maybe they see something you don't want to see. If you are set on staying with this man I would suggest going to counceling with him and not seeing him before it is important to keep your word. My family felt the same way about my current boyfirend and now years later I see what they saw..a little late.
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