A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry to be vulgar, but I am experiencing a bit of tension in my relationship because I am not meeting my partner's expectations.I am his first, and he has a "squirting" fixation... before we got together, he actually did not know it was possible for a woman to have an orgasm without squirting. He seemed very taken aback, and he still doesn't consider these orgasms to be "real." Now I've tried and tried, I've done everything you're supposed to do (g-spot stimulation etc.) but it is just not happening.I feel like I've totally destroyed his expectations. He watches a lot of porn with squirting as the main focus, so I'm not sure if that might have given him the impression that squirting is a requirement?Should I keep trying? I have heard that it is not possible for all women to squirt, this makes me really nervous because I feel like I will never satisfy him.Or should I break it to him that I might not ever be able to squirt for him?Thanks for reading.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2013): Next time just pee on him..squirting with less pressure:)
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (30 July 2013):
 In addition to what the others have said, twisting yourself in knots trying to live up to your boyfriend's unrealistic and, frankly, gross adolescent expectations does more harm than good, to you, to him and to other women. All you're doing is reinforcing those unrealistic expectations.
The sooner he grows up and faces the real world, the sooner you both can enjoy meaningful, satisfying sex. You can help him with that by setting appropriate limits now. No explanations and no apologies.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): You both need to stop getting your sex education from porn. Squirting in porn is a women peeing, not actually having an orgasm. He is watching, and into something that is really fake, intended for extra sexual stimulation interest for some/shock value, that is all.
I think if the two of you are old enough to have sex together, you can sit down and talk about this like to grown adults. Focus on exploring each other and what stimulates the two of you as actual people, not based on something you see on a computer screen. You will have a lot healthier and satisfying sex life together, without all the pressure of having an expectation of sex acts that are trumped up, staged, etc.
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A
male
reader, Dataluke +, writes (29 July 2013):
 He has totally unrealistic expectations of what women can and cannot do. Some can, some can't and it is not fair that he places this expectation on you.
It's high time he was brought back to reality and told to let this fantasy go. Tell him exactly what you can and cannot do and what you are willing to do and not do.
He has to get his head around this or he is not worth your time
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (29 July 2013):
 He needs to get his head out of the porn and back into reality. Most women "squirting" in porn are peeing. It's actually pretty rare. Some women can do it, but most don't do it regularly. YOU are not the problem, his unrealistic expectations based on porn are. What's next, you have to be screaming during orgasm or it's not real?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (29 July 2013):
This sounds like the type of guy who would drive into a lake if his GPS told him to. I can't believe this.
First of all, squirting is not a real orgasm. You can squirt without having an orgasm, my wife does it all the time. Porn has convinced him of some alternate reality.
Don't feel bad... I know some guys who've been with many women and never been with one who squirts.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (29 July 2013):
 This man is totally living in a fantasy world, does he really believe everything he sees on his telly?
Tell him either accept the real you, who is a real person with real orgasms. If he cannot accept your orgasms are real, based on some crappy fake porno then he needs to look elsewhere for his sexual, and emotional needs.
Don't let this drop kick put unrealistic expectations on you. Tell him its time for him to either get real or get lost!
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