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female
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*elshgirl
writes: I have been in a relationship for nearly a year. I have not long discovered that my b.f had cheated on me, didn't sleep with her though. Supposed to of met her a few times. At that point I didn't see him hardly through the week, twice if I was lucky! He text her, and saved her number under a boy's name. I don't even know who this girl is. He wanted me to find out but didn't have the guts to tell me, so he let me read the message. Over the last few weeks I had a feeling he did, but wern't sure. I really had to find out for myself. I am back with him now and he promises that he will never do it again, and it was a stupid MISTAKE! Since I have found this out though he has been acting much better and more like a b.f. I dont know whether I can trust him again! Any ideas?? thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, louise74 +, writes (23 February 2006):
its a hard situation to be in,believe me i know.
To trust someone again after they have hurt you so badly is very difficult.
I say anyone deserves a second chance,but dont do it if you find it too much of a struggle for yourself.
I am trying with mine,but its always in my head,and if he truely cared why do it in the first place?
He has said the same to me as your bf has said to you,it was a mistake,but maybe thats only cause they got caught.
Maybe you can let me know how you get on,and even offer me some advice.
Good luck to you,and although its hard,keep smiling.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (11 February 2006):
 It's gonna be hard and take time. I would say both you and he need to recognise that. Seemingly he does realise that he is going to have to work at this as you say his behaviour is much better.
I would say that you need to give yourself time for that bond to be restablished. Forgiving him and getting back with him was the first step on a road not the end of a journey. Make him work for your trust, dont give it him gratis. People can and do change, some people don't but some people do and it sounds like he is taking steps to change things for the better. People are also flawed and do make mistakes and the fact that you are prepared to work at forgiving him does you immense credit as a person.
Overall I would say give it time. If in time you still find you cant trust him then you may have to reasses the situation but for now good luck with it. :)
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