A
female
age
26-29,
*weetLipsX0
writes:Me and my boyfriend have now(today) been together for 10 months. (BTW hes in a different state right now and has been for 2 months now but we're working it out till he comes back)Today out of all days he decides to get another one of his attitudes. See he be getting mad/bothered with the simplest things. And i am the constantly the one that has to confront him and tell him how i did not do mean to do what i did, or he just had a misunderstanding. And sometimes it may be something i said and he just over reacts with the things and misinterpret it. The way he treats me during his moments is that he just puts !! n his txts, he just ignores me, just acts like a jerk and says every things okay and ignores the fact that i am upset or mad at him. But heres a recent one, he checked on his facebook and saw that i wasnt on his friends list, so he automatically started assuming that oh i didnt care about him anymore and how im probably ashamed of being with him. So i confront him and tell him the truth. I had no idea he wasnt on my friends list, and how im not ashamed of having him on there, i have him as my boyfriend but not as a friend. He didnt believe me, and this made me upset because i always tell him the truth. Eventually he understood and believed me. So then today i sent him a txt and he hadnt gotten it and i told him it was an accident and how i didnt mean to send it to someone else and he brought the whole friends contact stuff again. I told him i was tired of telling him the truth over and over and him not believing me, so he said alright i dont believe u!! repeatedly(5x) and then i was like what? nd he told me to f off!. I ignored him, 3 hours later i called him to see if he had calmed down, and once again he acted as if nothing happened and everything was cool, i told him how i felt and everything and he said he had nothing else to say, and he quietly said i dont give a crap, so i said well if you dont give a crap hang up on me, he sighed and said u really want me to do that, and i was like yeaa if u really dont give a f, he sighed again and hung up. My question is, what do i do? Do i wait for him to call me? (he rarely does) or what?
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female
reader, SweetLipsX0 +, writes (31 January 2011):
SweetLipsX0 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks YouWish,& tennis star , you guys knew exactly what i needed to know, as if you really understood our relationship. Oh and btw hes 3 years older than me, so yea he needs to grow up and not feel so insecure about himself and doubting or trying my honesty towards him.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (31 January 2011):
 I'm guessing your boyfriend is around the same age you are, right? He sounds terribly insecure about himself, and he's completely insecure about you liking him. This Facebook thing as well as his attitude on the phone with you is a total symptom of this.
His telling you to F off and his hanging up on you is a protection mechanism to try and keep his heart from hurting about his fear of losing you, and his worry that the distance, however temporary, will end your relationship, so he's reflexively running away, hence the hang up.
His ego wants you to chase after him and keep reassuring him, but I'm sure it gets really old for you to keep trying to smooth his ruffled feathers. I would suggest you not call him, as this can start a pattern of his getting an attitude, verbally abusing you (you don't tell a girlfriend to F off), and requiring your constant reassurance.
This will be hard for you, but I would advise you not to be the one to call him and "chase after him", as you've been doing over and over again. You absolutely do not want a pattern of that happening, as that's manipulation of you on his end.
Instead, back away from him. If he texts you or calls you, instead of being mad and demanding that it's talked out, be light. Don't be all lovey dovey everything's alright, but treat him on the phone like a fond acquaintance. If he apologizes like I hope he does, lavish some love on him and reassure him that that you really care for him, but his insecurity about the relationship actually hurts it. He has to trust you, and you him.
However, if he doesn't call back, you are better off without him. No relationship is healthy when one person gets angry and tries over and over to get reassurance from the other person, especially to the point of verbal abuse or name calling. Hopefully as he gets older, he'll outgrow this immaturity. Give him attention when he does positive things, and don't talk to him when he pulls this stuff.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (31 January 2011):
 You guys are in a LDR and he's fighting with you about not being on your friend's list?
What an incredibly petty argument; people take Facebook way too seriously.
As far as I'm concerned, you should wait till he calls you with the apology you are owed. Your boyfriend can call you when he loses the attitude.
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