A
female
age
41-50,
*ady802
writes:My boyfriend and I were together a year and a half. I am a 32 year old woman... and have had my experience in the dating world. This man I just knew was my love from the beginning. That feeling that can't be defined. But... at the end of the year and a half... he started to pull back. It was obvious he was scared. And being immature about it. And stopped communicating. So, I left. I said that I would come back when it seemed that he had pulled it together... and I hoped that he would. A year has passed. I dated someone else... and he did as well. He always said he missed me and wanted me back... but not until the last few months has he started to say the right things. Acknowledge his role in our failure. Tell me what had happened in his heart. And, within the last few months, been working with the limits and boundaries I have set to show me that he wants another chance. I have kept my distance... while my heart has stayed completely his all along. He truly seemed to make changes... in every way. His manner of being. How he spoke to me. The things he would talk about. I was gearing up for a more mature man this time around.And then... then the world opened up. A month ago... he told me that the girl he had been hanging out with (and as I said... we have been broken up for a year... he was well within his rights)... is 3 months pregnant. He is heartbroken. Devastated. Enveloped in regret. But, knows that not being a father is simply... not an option. He does not want to be with her. They never were together. She is keeping the baby. I was in love then. And am in love now. But am feeling completely overtaken by feelings of jealousy. These things were supposed to be with me. And heartbroken that now another woman, if I proceed with him, will forever be in my life. I am so sad. I want to support him... as he really has made a difference in the man he was a year ago. And, we all make mistakes. This just happens to be one of epic proportions. He understands if I need to walk away. But, in a year, I wake up everyday thinking of him. And how do I work past the pain? Am I crazy to consider this as an option? He asks that I just give him a chance to prove that he is a better man. And I want to allow him that. But, need to stop obsessing about what next. Because we can't know. Seeing the other postings on this site has given me hope... that I'm not alone in my heartache. How do I stay and turn our relationship into what next with this child and this woman? It is no longer just us. I know that. And I'm angry for it... and at the same time know that s and %t happens. Please... anything would help.
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male
reader, lifesgreat  +, writes (2 December 2014):
you can try ... things will be hard! but many relationships have got past things like this .
But just depends if you can deal with him having his firs child with somebody else .
If its too much wait and see who else is about .
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