A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. A little while after me and my boyfriend had begun talking, he got a lapdance from one of his former friends.Yea, she strips for a living and she has like 5 kids. He blames it on the fact that they were all drunk.But he did have the guts to admit this to me.The night that he confessed to me,he learned that I would like for him to call her and tell her that they couldnt be friends no more. He called her. But the fact that there was like 6 people in her vehicle, which is where the incident took place. I was really devastated to learn that he got this from her. I cant help but to think about it. Should I just continue being with him/forget the incident or move on??
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male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (29 November 2007):
 If he was drunk, and it was only a lap dance and nothing more, you might as well just try and forget about it.
But I'd suggest keeping an eye on him, and on the upside he did tell you about it, which means he's honest, so I say you should give him a second chance.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): Ok so this is the dilemma; you were dating your boyfriend, and during the course of your relationship, he received a lap dance from a friend of his.
You have a few choices.
1. Forgive him completely and move on, and continue to date him. He admitted it to you. This is a good sign. It proves he is willing to be honest and accept the consequences of his actions. Forgiving won't be easy but it is important to do if you want to be with him. Ultimately you must decide whether or not you trust him enough not to make this mistake again. Examine him as a person, how well he treats you, how honest he is, and how devoted he is to you. Really consider if you can trust him or not. If not then there is option number 2
2. Forget about him and dump him. This is always an option if you feel that there was more to it than just a sloppy drunken lapdance. If it makes you uncomfortable that he got a lapdance and you don't think that you can forgive him then I suggest you just move along with your life.
Bottom line is that to continue to date him without forgiving him is the worst thing you can do. He has been honest with you and if you punish him for his honesty, then he may well never be honest with you again. You do not want to close these lines of communication. If you continue the relationship with anger in your heart then your relationship will be doomed to failure.
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