A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear All,Today my boyfriend of 3.5 years received an anonymous gift, cake and a red rose. It mentioned his petname and said "your smile is everything to me."The cover of the cake mentioned " happy birthday". It is not his birthday.My boyfriend is a bit of a flirt and is 8 years younger than me. We have had somand downs.I am confused. i don't know how to react.e
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for these answers. I guess I will have to take stock of this relationship. I am insecure, true. I appreciate these pointers so so much. ????
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2019): I would think there could only be 2 explanations.
1. He is having an affair and has lied to the other person to reap gifts etc
2. He is winding you up to make you jealous after an argument.
Either one is enough to end this relationship. You sound very on edge an insecure which would lead em to think you've been hurt before.
Take some time for yourself, end this relationship and get self confidence back. There are alot of free clubs you can join to help with this. There are lots of waling clubs, swim clubs and gym clubs you could join to meet new people etc.
I wish you the best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2019): Kind of odd to be sent on a cake when it isn't your birthday...isn't it likely that it was probably delivered to the wrong place and intended for someone else? How generic is his pet name?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2019): Are you sure he's not pulling your chain? Isn't it odd that he lets you see the cake? He's either innocent, or testing you.
If you've had a recent argument, or you've been difficult to get along with lately; maybe he concocted some little scheme to get you jealous. It just doesn't make sense he'd bring it home. He knew you'd react just the way you're behaving about it. You're not confused. You're upset, jealous, and suspicious.
Why did you mention his age? Are you insecure about the fact he is 8 years younger? If you know he's a flirt, how has your relationship lasted 3.5 years?
If it's anonymous, and not a scheme to get you going; maybe he really doesn't know who it's from. It didn't say "Happy Birthday;" so it's just a cake. It's possible whoever sent it doesn't know he has a girlfriend.
Well, what was he supposed to do with the gift, cake, and rose from an "anonymous" giver?
Personally, I don't consume food items when I don't know whom or where it came from. You can't refuse a gift; if you don't know who the giver is. No more than you can control an anonymous crush, when you don't know who the person is.
It's creepy, but don't get too upset; when neither of you know who gave him the rose, cake, or gift.
I guess you can only wonder, but getting upset about it will probably please the anonymous-giver to know he (yes he) or she may have caused a rift in your relationship. Unless you have some facts to justify being upset, let it go.
If you're always on edge or insecure, because of the age-difference; your ups and downs may be approaching the end of the relationship. No relationship can withstand or survive jealousy, flirting, or insecurity. Those traits are toxic.
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