A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of eight months forgot my birthday. First of all he knew my birthday was coming up and I had to ask him if we would have plans. He needed time to think about it and suggested that I might have plans with my friends. So I followed up with and he said he had to think about it. I then left him on his own. A few days before my birthday I he asked if we could do something on the weekend and I said yes. We made plans. My birthday came (it was on a Tuesday) we talked a few times and he never once said Happy Birthday. Finally at about 10pm I text him sarcastically and said "Thanks for wishing me Happy Birthday". A few minutes before mid night he called a few times and I ignored him. Then he sent a text saying that he is asking nicely for me to call him back and it is the second text. I ignored it and I have not heard from him since. Should I have been more understanding or am I right to be mad as hell and chuck the relationship.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 August 2013):
 i disagree with WiseOwle. I think ignoring him to sulk and be mad was not mature or cool.
I also think that the sarcasm was uncalled for.
IF birthdays are important to you then it's incumbent on YOU to remind him. "hey don't forget next Tuesday is my birthday do you want to celebrate over the weekend?"
there is no crime in reminding folks of what is important TO YOU as it may not be important to him. Some folks just don't "do birthdays"
and in addition, you not being clear with him about your expectations and your anger just leave him wondering what he did so wrong...
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (22 August 2013):
 Hi, the only time I forgot a person's birthday was a guy I dated and was not that into him. I was immature and did not consider how that would hurt a persons feeling. I would suggest you rethink your relationship, because you did remind him and he still forgot and did not do anything special for you. He is either not into you or don't pay attention to special events, either way you need to decide if its something you are okay with.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786 +, writes (22 August 2013):
Hi, the only time I forgot a person's birthday was a guy I dated and was not that into him. I was immature and did not consider how that would hurt a persons feeling. I would suggest you rethink your relationship, because you did remind him and he still forgot and did not do anything special for you. He is either not into you or don't pay attention to special events, either way you need to decide if its something you are okay with.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (22 August 2013):
Well, you're at the point where you have to decide whether or not you want to be in a long term relationship with a guy who would forget your birthday despite several reminders.
Because the reality is, he is that type of person. Can you accept that? If yes, don't be surprised when it happens again, and anger won't change that. If you can't accept it then go about finding a boyfriend who is better for you.
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (22 August 2013):
 Luckily a few days before your birthday he asked if the both of you could do something on the week-end… Two days later, when he’s actually talking to you, he doesn’t come out with saying or wishing you Happy Birthday… That’s strange!?
From what you say here, it appears that your boyfriend needs a lot of reminding, time to think and can’t seem to think of a plan until the last minute? That in itself would bother me, as I am of a culture where the other person generally has the plan to take you out… or you both organise something for a few friends where your partner is still included.
Nonetheless, did you have a lovely week-end together? Is he mindful in other areas or does he need constant reminding or pushing? Either way I’d be mad if my boyfriend totally neglected, ignored or forgot my birthday without showing me some kindness on the actual day.
Take Care – Caring Aunty A
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2013): There are really two ways to answer your question.
I will start by saying, you did the right thing by sarcastically "thanking" him after several reminders; yet he still forgot.
It was a good idea to ignore his text messages, to send him the direct message that your feelings are hurt; and you're not ready for lame excuses. You didn't let him talk his way out of it.
Do be an adult, and eventually accept a sincere "in-person" apology. Not by text messaging. That's crap.
Here's the second answer. Men are notorious for forgetting birthdays (accept our own) and anniversaries. It's a good idea to plan something wonderful for yourself; and to allow others to chime in with whatever extras they can offer to make it better.
When we were children, pouting for days is what we expect of a child. As we get older, we can choose exactly what we want, or what we want to do on our birthday. Thereby not leaving it up to others, to disappoint us.
Even if you make your own plans, bf's and friends can always highjack the situation, and surprise you. Planning your own birthday celebrations are never disappointing, and you don't spend your birthday in a funk.
A belated Happy Birthday!
No solace hearing it from a total stranger; but it did break your heart to know your boyfriend forgot. Nothing I can say will makeup for that. He's got his work cutout for him. Now he knows the consequences; should he be around for the next one.
His future is looking pretty dim at the moment.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2013): Normally I don't condone the whole 'he forgot my birthday/our anniversary' thing as I personally wouldn't LET someone I was with forget. I would remind them the day before or something. I think that doing that is basically setting a trap to try to catch someone out and I'm normally against that sort of thing. However in this case your boyfriend simply doesn't seem bothered. His response to your question about plans for your birthday should have been along the lines of 'what would you like to do darling?', yet he repeatedly ignored you when you tried to bring it up. If I were you I would finish with him because he doesn't seem to care in general. How long ago was this btw?
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