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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I met through an online dating app. We chatted a bit and then he asked for my Instagram handle. I thought that was weird and gave him my number instead. We had a bit more text conversation getting to know one another, and then he asked me out right away. Everything has been great since. We ended up adding one another on our social media including Instagram a couple months into dating. His profile has always been public so I have been following it even before then. He enjoys posting photos of himself posing in front of sightseeing areas with inspirational quotes. The only thing that bothers me is that he follows a LOT of women. They don't seem to be people he knows personally or located around the area. But it does make me feel weird. I find it a bit embarrassing and would be embarrassed if my friends noticed too. He doesn't really like or comment on their stuff though, and he doesn't interact with them when they comment on his stuff. He only replies comments of people he knows. It does make me feel weird and a bit uneasy that he follows so many Instagram model looking types though. Is this normal? Am I overthinking?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2019): Sorry but I think that's a bit dodgy and disrespectful to you.I would tell him straight I'm not happy with it. And if he don't delete it just tell him your done. Because there's no need for him to be doing that imagine if you did it.he would feel upset
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 October 2019):
 For me, (and I could be wrong here) when you hear about a guy who follows a LOT of "Instagram models" it seems like he is looking to see what's out there, what "options" they have OR... simply to have a less "pornographic" spank bank with plenty of sexy pictures.
He isn't following them to learn the newest beauty or fashion trends or because he KNOWS them or WANT to know them, he is following them to LOOK at them. And to gain followers himself, as some cases because they follow him back it becomes this "circle-jerk" of mutual ego-rub.
Social media is a weird animal.
But back to your BF. This isn't going to change. (him following a LOT of women) He gets his endorphin rush from all the comments and likes, that is not something he is likely to give up on.
Whether YOUR friends approve or not, I think is irrelevant - to a point. Because they might feel like HE is WAY more invested in his ONLINE personal - the guy with ALL these girl followers and the instant gratifications. Which might also be while YOU find it a little weird. I bet if you talked to him, he wouldn't understand WHY you found it weird. He'd claim it's ALL so innocent etc. etc.
THIS is a part of his life YOU aren't really a part of and probably won't ever be. His little slice of escapism.
YOU have to decide if this is a deal-breaker or not FOR you. IF it is, he isn't the one for you. Because he surely isn't going to delete his followers or account because you find it "weird".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2019): I'm curious as to how long you two have been exclusive. Maybe to him this is a more causal relationship than you think it is.
At any rate, I wouldn't like it at all. I would find it disrespectful and embarrassing. If the two of you are exclusive then I don't know why he feels the need to follow instagram models that are not his friends. Why don't you ask him? That's what I would do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2019): Your boyfriend is a self-made Instagram celebrity. He likes female-attention, and showing-off. That's exactly how he found you!
You quickly got attached, drawn by his good-looks; all the while, fully aware of his social media popularity and how conceited he is.
If he's straight and sort-of hot, it follows that he likes compliments and attention from women. He has worked hard to accumulate all his followers, and he basks in their likes and compliments. His ego needs the stroking.
You now have to determine if you're truly exclusive as a couple. Your relationship may be more casual than you are willing to acknowledge or accept it to be. If he isn't giving-up his lady-fanbase; Romeo is not as much into you as you are into him!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2019): It would only bother me if it was all the same type and clearly because of t and a . I mean does he follow other women who post inspirational stuff too or who have more to offer than looks or is he only interested in their bodies . I think for me that would be the deciders . It would be embarrassing and somewhat troubling to think that he perhaps sees women as nothing more than ornaments or decoration . Perhaps look to see signs that he respects women as people and that he also follows women with talenag and achievements beyond the physical . This should give you a pretty fair idea of how he views women and a pretty good idea of whether he is the kind of man you would be happy to settle down with and have around your children is you have -want any or your nieces etc
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