A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,and thanks for reading. My bf and I have been together about 3 years now. Throughout our relationship, he has accused me of being with other men. I’ve never been disloyal to him, so there’s no reason he should feel as though I am cheating on him. I chalked it up to jealousy and insecurities, but lately I feel as though it’s more.He disappears at 6 pm every night, and tells me he fell asleep, which I find odd. Recently, he mentioned a girl that works as a cashier. She’s 18, he’s 43. He told me she’s attractive and she likes him. I sat back as I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It made me sick actually. He’s called me a different name before, which was also odd after 3 years of being together. There’s no one he knows, that I'm aware of, that has that name. He was in another relationship prior to ours where he cheated and I'm beginning to wonder if that’s why all these accusations towards me are a way of releasing his guilt.What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): 1. "Throughout our relationship, he has accused me of being with other men. I’ve never been disloyal to him"
2. "He was in another relationship prior to ours where he cheated"
2 1/2. "He disappears at 6 pm every night"
My vote is he's cheating. I am sorry.
"he mentioned a girl that works as a cashier. She’s 18, he’s 43." and "He told me she’s attractive and she likes him." If you got these facts straight I say this guy's delusional.
If he's cheating he's probably deceiving himself that it's ok to cheat which is also delusional. I see a pattern here.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): Hi what kind of a man accuses u then has the nerve to tell you about an 18 year old cashier? Usually a cheater slowly brings either conversations about the woman he is seeing or names in. He's doing both. He's 43? She's 18? I don't understand why he would even have an interest in someone that young. Maybe she's the one he's cheating with. Dig deep.
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A
female
reader, Christina141  +, writes (16 February 2011):
Hi there,
I do think it is strange that he is disappearing every night at 6.00pm. What I would do is come up with something for the two of you to do after 6.00pm. If he says he can't do it, ask him why not? It would be a good way to approach the issue without 'nagging' him so to speak.
If he still doesn't want to do anything and you are not happy in regards to the way he is treating you, I would move on. Life is short and I wouldn't waste it on someone who seems a little more than unwilling to accommodate you into his life. If you have told him you aren't cheating then he should trust you. If he doesn't, his insecurity will undermine the relationship. I would think carefully about the relationship and ask yourself if you really want to work on it. If not, it is best to move on.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 February 2011):
I agree with the post below, and with you OP. There's a lot of stuff here that sounds suspicious. You need to do some serious digging to find out what's happening.
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A
female
reader, pinkkisses24 +, writes (16 February 2011):
 Sorry to say, but he may be the one cheating on you. People sometimes will accuse their spouse if they are the ones doing something because their conscience is eating away at them. As I read I see four signs that he is cheating- Calling you a different name (that could also be anything)- cheating in the past- If the cashier likes him why does it matter?- (biggest one) disappearing at 6pm every nightI feel you know deep down he is doing something wrong, look past the time you have been together and your experiences and you may see the clarity and reality of the situation. You are young, there are several other men who can treat you 10x better. I'm not encouraging you to leave him, just become more aware. Remember what is in the dark will always come to light!Good luck! Let me know how things go.
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