A
male
age
36-40,
*uka_Magnotta
writes:Ok, Im 26 and im Bi and im out...my BF is 21 and he is severely in the closet. We have been together almost 9 months.Nothing in our relationship is going good. But I love him to death and I know he is my soulmate (im not just saying that) If we could only get past this really weird situation.He is lying to me. he cheats on me behind my back which I know for a fact and he cheats on me infront of me IN MY OWN HOUSE. He pesters me daily to post ads on craigslist for him and I feel like if I dont post Men seeking Men ads for him then he will do it behind my back. All these random guys come over and he f***s them im my room while im on the sofa. Im MY house.He says he is a nympho and he has to. He is the most immature person I have ever met. My philosophy is its better for him to do it infront of my face then behind my back....ill go nuts constantly wondering where he is and who he is with.He ALWAYS pressures me into allowing him to sleep with other guys infront of me and sometimes him alone one on one and sometimes he wants a threesome with me??/ I DONT WANT THIS. I have told him time and time again that this is not the lifestyle I want.His response is "im young and I want to experience it.." WELL THEN DONT BE IN A GODDAMM RELATIONSHIP U PRICK U SELFCENTRED PRICK!He puts his friends first all the time and his friends found im im BI because I appeared on T.V and they saw it by fluke. Then my BF told all of them that he'll NEVER speak to me again. ????? He acted like a big coward. However things subsided and his friends still hate me but they eventually came to accept that my BF SOMETIMES causally talks to me...AS A FRIEND. Im swept into the closet to please my BF's image. His friends make fun of me and he takes it.My BF ALWAYS includeds his friends in his life and does fun things with them BEHIND MY BACK and excludeds me from EVERYTHING in his life. I cant even meet his family and yet he met all mine? He just uses me for emotional support I think? Im his comfort blanket.... We broke up 20 times because of his friends and his lies....he cries and begs to come back and pleads he will change but it goes back to the same old all the time.I dont think this relationship is a good one? Unless he comes out of the closet nothing will save it...too much lies and sneaking around.He is WAY to immature... but I will feel lonely without hi because he made me get rid of ALL my friends????
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broke up, immature, soulmate, threesome Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): this guy couldnt commit to you if he tried
i know exactly what your going through but maybe he still can be your soulmate (best friend) just not boyfriend material. unless you wanna keep him and have sex only, but otherwise ul get even more hurt in the long run!x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): Ok. You've laid out the facts (pun intended). You can't control his behavior or his maturitylevel, but you can control how you react to it. To his credit, he has been honest with you about his wants and desires and actions. If you can deal with it, fine. If you can't, then move on to another relationship. He clearly has chosen a relationship with you, but said he has lots of needs. Honest enough. He's also in the closet, so he fels like he can trust you. Only you can make these decisions, but, if it were me, if I liked this guy very much, and he wanted to continue a relationship, I wouldn't make the fact that he likes to get his rocks off a lot with other guys a big deal. Let him get it out of his system. I'd also NOT let him dictate who my friends are. You must take control of your friends, life, and reactions. If you want a relationship with a "male slut" (seems unnecessarily) redundant, eh?), nothing wrong with that if other parts are healthy and happy, then fine. If you don't, move on.
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