A
female
age
30-35,
*e_All_Feel_The_Same
writes:Hi DearCupid Forum,I'm a 21 year old musician/singer/college student currently in a relationship that hosts average ups and downs. Lately, there is one thing that is really upsetting me..Music is the one thing I am truly passionate for in this world, singing makes me happy, and performing nearly kills me it feels so good! - That being said, my boyfriend is seemingly not at all interested in what I do. We generally LISTEN to different artists I guess, but we have many overlapping tastes. I post some of my music on a website so that my friends and family have access (they are very supportive) and although he has the link to my music, he has never commented on it or outwardly supported me. I know what you're all thinking.. Ask him about it?Well, I did. Today I asked him if he dislikes my singing voice (as that was the most logical of my narrowed down choices). He basically brushed me off with a "I've heard your songs, you're good". Which to me translates to "Hey, I'd rather not be blunt about this but I'm not exactly a fan of yours" -- Is it wrong of me to be so upset? He wants to get married but with the way I depict love in my mind, I want my future spouse to love and appreciate me as equally as I do them.. I really don't know if I can stay in a relationship with someone who dislikes my music, as it is so much of who I am. Does anyone have any advice on what my next move should be? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (30 March 2011):
 It seems like your heart says you need someone who can share this huge part of you. Follow your heart, follow your dreams. Time to tell him good-bye
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): My advice to you. I am a musician too playing guitar and singing and I have been in bands. Anyway, some people I've been with have tried to crush my confidence with it and maybe this is what your bf is trying to do to you by giving you not so great feedback on your music. Trust me - concentrate on your music, there's no rush like performing on stage - don't do what I did and let someone crush your dreams. Maybe it's just not his style if you both have different musical tastes?
If I had stuck with that person who had no interest in me or MY interests I wouldn't have met my bf who worships the ground I walk on! You deserve the same. If you're not happy then change it - put music first. Hpe this helps x
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A
female
reader, We_All_Feel_The_Same +, writes (29 March 2011):
We_All_Feel_The_Same is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIWell I didn't want to rant, but my boyfriend is generally very spunky and enthusiastic.. His attitude towards the whole thing is just off-color and he's a terrible liar.
I appreciate your advice, some of it sparked ideas about other areas of my relationship, but it's more of the overall picture that I'm concerned with: Can you have a healthy relationship with someone who is uninterested in the largest aspect of your life?
I'm not sure if my frantic train of thought caused me to come across as someone who doesn't yell or handle differences calmly and rationally, but I surely do. :(
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (29 March 2011):
"I've heard your songs, you're good". Which to me translates to "Hey, I'd rather not be blunt about this but I'm not exactly a fan of yours"
I'm not sure how you got this message from what he said. Was it his tone? Are you sure you aren't reading too much into this because he's not being as outward as you would like?
I would suggest coming right out with it and telling him how you are feeling. Make sure you have his attention and that he knows you are feeling a little unloved. Keep a calm, sincere voice, and choose a time you know you will be able to get his undivided attention.
He may be the kind of man who is not outwardly emotional. How is he in other areas of your relationship? How was his family life? Maybe he's more of an inward person, and he thinks you "just know" how he feels. Many people are like that. If you make it clear that you don't "just know" and that it's very truly important to you that he is more enthusiastic about your music, I'm sure, if he cares enough to marry you, he will work on it. The trick will be finding the way to get it through to him. Generally, calmly and to the point does the trick, although it may take a few conversations.
Best of Luck!
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