A
female
age
26-29,
*jroller14
writes:This guy in my biology class keeps flirting with me and wont quit.I told him to stop I have a boy friend but he doesn't care and he wont leave me alone.My boy friend saw it today at lunch because the kid tried to lay on me in line and I pushed him away. I went on the other side of my bf and friend CS. She said don't hide behind me go behind your boyfriend and my bf did nothing......is that a good thing or a bad thing when my bf doesn't care their are other ppl that are hitting on me? Pleas help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): Sometimes guys that age have touble being assertive with other guys. He could secretly feel intimidated by this other guy, and doesnt know how to put an end to it without causing a conflict. I dont think it is necessarily because he doesnt care, rather he is probably at a loss with how to deal with it in a manner in which he doesnt cause a huge scene.
My feeling is that the other guy is most likely testing his boundaries, finding out what he can get away with.
Since your boyfriend doesnt seem to know how to deal with it, it is up to you, as it should be to some extent.
Ask this flirty guy to kindly leave you alone. Say it in a way where you mean business. Dont be wishy washy. If you sincerely want this guy to leave you alone, then make absolutely certain that your words convey what you mean.
Sometimes guys can get mixed signals just based on how you are able to articulate yourself and the actions you portray. If you are sometimes flirty back with him, then he is going to get the wrong impression that you are just playing hard to get and dont mean what you say. So say what you mean to say and then dont feed in to his flirtations. If he still persists and it is making you uncomfortable, go to the guidance counselor and talk about it.
Also, perhaps having a serious talk with your boyfriend might be able to clear up any issues you have with him not caring about the situation. Could be that he cares more than he ever let on but is just as unsure as you as to what to do about it.
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (16 March 2011):
It depends: do you think this guy could beat your boyfriend up? Are you sure your boyfriend doesn't care?
I think that a girl has to take care of herself and put a limit to other guys. Of course, up to certain limit. If the guy starts being disrespectful things change. But there is a good chance that this guy is doing this on purpose to see what your boyfriend does. He could be provoking him.
Since this happens at school you should report this incident to authorities and give this guy a lesson.
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A
female
reader, StarburstGrin +, writes (16 March 2011):
 A lot of high school guys don't have a clue. Be glad that he trusts you, he probably was proud to see that you are desired in your school and that he is the one that has you! He probably also knows that he cares about you and hopefully you feel the same way he does about you and know that you wouldn't mess around with anyone else. It's better than him being overly controlling and jealous! I used to ask my boyfriend why he wasn't jealous and that is what he told me... He only gets upset if it looks like I am the one guilty of doing the flirting--otherwise, he says he knows I am a pretty girl and that other guys are gonna like me, but I am his, so he is proud. 3
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): leave he doesnt care
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