A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend probably wants us to break up as he can't handle the fact that I now have a small social life. I am gutted and can't believe this reaction after five years together.I had been unwell and a bit of a loner for the start of our relationship. I have recently been very proactive about making friends and have gone out one night of the past three weekends.That is it! That is all I have done. My boyfriend says he can't handle it and probably wants to break up. I understand it is a change in my behaviour but surely it is a positive one? I have explained everything to him.He doesn't want to go with me and doesn't want to meet the people I am going with. He also says he wants me to do what I want and he'll be fine with it but then when I do he goes into the lowest of moods and acts like I am almost betraying him.He is older than I am and has a few good friends he has had for years. I don't see how I can get to the position of a good few friends if I never make them or see them to develop the friendships. My boyfiend wouldn't go out so thinks I shouldn't do the same to him.It is obvious me going out makes him feel insecure plus he thinks gay people in a relationship shouldn't have gay friends.I shouldn't have, but I have offered to not see these new friends again. He knows that would be wrong for either of us to expect so won't accept it but then can't handle it either. So I am left standing here while he stews and thinks we should probably break up.I am 100% lost as to what I should do. I don't want to lose him. To a certain degree he gets anxious at me doing anything with anyone.
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (31 August 2009):
 this is ridiculous, just go out and have friends. people who want to own you dont care about you, only what needs of theirs you can serve and threats are used to keep their needs fed. you need to do what you want and have a life = simple. if he breaks up with you so be it, i'm sure he'll be back soon enough...
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