A
female
age
30-35,
*oldonfxreverr
writes:Having problems with boyfriend and another girl he just met?Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years. Were both college students, only 45 minutes away. But the other night, my family was up for family weekend so i couldn't see my boyfriend for the weekend, which is fine. He was going out to a friend's house to just drink a little bit which we both said was okay in our deal.We made a deal before school started that just set limits for ourselves as far as going out when we can't see each other. So it was okay for him to go out to his friend's place. Unexpectedly, 4 random girls showed up that my boyfriend didn't know about. so all of the guys there were talking to them and dancing with them and my boyfriend joined along, which really upset me becuase he said he would try not to let it happen. but it happened anyway. so then him and 2 guy friends left with 2 of the girls and went to get something quick to eat before going home. this girl asked my boyfriend for his number then proceeded to ask for a kiss! my boyfriend immediately stopped and told her about me so nothing ended up happening. my boyfriend told me that night right away what happened and i was devastated. it was good that he told me though, hes a very honest person but it just hurt me so much. i couldn't talk anymore so i went to bed and the next morning we talked about everything. he ended up coming up to my school and spend a few hours together which was relaxing and reassuring that he wanted to be with me and not this other girl. I always get the impression that when something like this happens he's not interested in me anymore so i asked him and he said he wanted to stay together that it just kinda happened and he couldn't stop. he also said that its hard being a college kid with a 5 year relationship so he said i should give him credit for never taking it too far. i think what he did is taking it too far but we have never seen eye to eye with this stuff.so while he was over, this girl texted him asking if he had a good time! he never answered her while he was with me but he told me they talked last night (through texting) for a little bit but that was it. so now im all worked up again about everything and everything my boyfriend said and i cant calm down. what should i do? is it really worth breaking up over? please help calm me down, and sorry this is so long but thank youu!
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female
reader, holdonfxreverr +, writes (20 October 2010):
holdonfxreverr is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much guys. I really do appreciate any answer that you guys take your time out of to answer and help. i will definitely follow everyone's advice and i know i need to calm down with the jealousy and everything. but anyway thank you all very much!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): I see your concern and it is very legitimate. Definitely not worth breaking up over assuming he has told you truth. I think he needs to be firm with this other girl and just flat out tell her to screw off cause obviously she didnt get a clear message from him that hes not interested otherwise she wouldnt be in contact. I hate women like that, especially what they do to women like you. Your jealousy can be given in a positive way and negative way. the negative being you get very upset with your BF and have some sort of bad argument. The positive being that you tell him "hey this girl didnt get a clear message from you and you should make it clear youre not interested by deleting her phone number and telling her off"...if he doesnt agree to that, Id say hes interested in her and you risk putting yourself in some kind of childish game. These women can be aggressive and for some its a turn on that hes seeing someone. I know crazy right? Well that can be american society for you. Have a chat with this lad and tell him to get rid of this girl once and for all. Kudos to you for being patient btw and not getting real angry. Hopefully this will turn out well. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): well I agree with the first post, you should trust him.. but if you continue with the jealousy.. it will push him away. I know it drives you insane but seriously its not worth breaking up over.
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female
reader, Indie23  +, writes (19 October 2010):
 I really don't think dancing with another girl is cheating but if that's what you see as crossing a line then you need to explain that to your boyfriend.
I really think you can trust this guy, he turned this girl down when she asked him to kiss her and then told you about straight away. He seems pretty honest and I personally don't think you have anything to worry about.
As for him texting her, they could just be friends. All you can do is trust the people you love and if they hurt you, you move on.
Indie.
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