A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and our life together has been pretty much good.It's our sex life that's become an issue, however. For the past six weeks my boyfriend's refused to have sex with me until he's seen enough Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, George Clooney and looked on the web at "hot nude guys".Then he tries dressing up as a man in uniform for me, insisting that it would be a turn-on for me and that I would love it. He said most women do anyway.I've asked him why he insists on doing this and he said "Relax, babe, it's fun, stop stressing out!"I feel worried he might be gay or bisexual because of his repeated looking at "hot nude guys" on the Internet (I found it in the history on Firefox!) but he insists he isn't and that it's all a bit of fun.However, I just want loving, great sex. In the past our sex life was great but since the past six weeks has gone by it feels weird doing it the way I mentioned above but I've gone along with it thinking it'll cause arguments.I've tried everything to turn him on, including sexy lingerie and dressing up, but he just wants plain-vanilla sex. Odd, considering that he dresses up for me claiming it turns him on.I want to resolve this, but I don't know what to do. I tried talking to him, but it seems he wants one thing and I want another.I asked him where he got these ideas from, but he wouldn't say.I don't want our sex life to become routine and sluggish, but nor do I want an over-the-top extreme sex life.I've tried discussion, but it just didn't work... I find that odd, as he's normally a decent man who I can have proper conversations with.It would be a shame if we split up as the rest of our life is so good - he's a lovely bloke, and we're a well-liked couple amongst our family and friends.Julie
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): I would not jump to "Gay" quite yet, esp since for the last three years you have had a good relationship. I would just say that he is going through a sexual experimental - fun stage and trying to see what else out there gets him excited. I would let it play out - and I have a feeling it will pass. Perhaps as you do keep trying to talk to him, talk more about what new things could be added to spice things up that you BOTH would like. Sometimes our men just get plain strange...
A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (17 October 2008):
it could be either that he is gay or he could be insecure and wants to be more like these typical "hunks" such as movie stars and men in uniform. it;s also a power thing, being famous and having a uniform.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): He's gay. Quite a few of gay man have relationships with women, it may be because their just working out who they are or they just like the cover. This is something you cannot change or work on, unless you have a sex change!
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