A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for the last 5 years, in the last year we took a break because he was struggling with depression and confusion about who he is etc.... I was supportive of him taking time and felt our relationship was strong enough to handle it. I was everything to him (maybe even too much) and we were unseparable for years. In the last few months we decided to get back together, and he asked for a month. Then a couple weeks into the month I found out that he has been seeing another woman for the last 3 months. He actually developed feelings for her and he says he felt like things were easy with her. But, he ended it with her the day I found out and he said he is sorry, made a mistake and asked for me to forgive him. He says he was just mad at me for talking to a friend over the summer (who he thought I was developing feelings for, but I didn't). He interpreted this as betrayal. So he said sorry for seeing her and wants to work on our relationship. I guess I felt guilty for doing that, plus I was willing to forgive him because we have been together for so long, you know? So we really worked hard on our relationship and for the last month since then, he's been trying really hard and we were making progress. But then I had to leave town for a day, and when I got back I found out that he contacted her and went to her place because he had to see her. He says he needed closure with her, and that it was a huge mistake. He says all he wants is me and to work on us, he became quite crazy at the thought of losing me. He struggles with depression, panic attacks and suicidal thoughts, and this mistake is pushing him over the edge. I cannot believe that he would do this to me again, and I'm frankly ready to leave. But then, I'm not. I believe he wants to be with me, but i am constantly paranoid that he is just telling himself he does or is driven by guilt to be with me. He's really unstable right now and I am not sure what to do..Please give me insight about my behavior, why I cant let it go or accept that is over... And insight into his behavior... What I'm clearly not objective enough to see......I
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): Contact Adult Protective Services and explain this situation to them, as they will be the intervention when you tell him what you've shared here and after you leave him.
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