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female
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*oreverlucky
writes: i am currently in a relationship. i met the guy when i was 14 i am now 18. he has cheated on me three times twice with my best friend and once with someone i didn't know. it hurt me alot. i cheated on him once but i was very drunk and i was only a kiss on the lips. i know it hurt him but it didn't excuse what he did. i have now met a really great guy who would give me the world and is really nice and friendly. we hit it off straight away. nothing has happened yet. i know he likes me to. the thing is i am really confused and don't know what i should do...i really need help or advice i should say...
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female
reader, mystify +, writes (1 March 2006):
 you just found an easy way outta the relationship with this guy who dosent respect you, the relationship with other guy mayor may not become something special but for now he is better for you and will give you the confidence to move on from the other guy.
just make sure you let everyone know where they stand first
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female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (1 March 2006):
 I want to adjust my reply that I posted earliar today. I want you to ignore my advice, because after reading the advice that misbunbury gave you I think you should take that.
I don't think I've ever seen such a spot on perfect answer on dearcupid as her one and I really hope you take her advice, good luck and have fun xx
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female
reader, missbunbury +, writes (1 March 2006):
 Many people ask questions on this site along the lines of "I've got a boyfriend, but I've met someone I prefer - what should I do?" What surprises me is that these people always seem to think in terms of 'I either stay with the person I'm with, or move onto the new person' - nobody ever seems to consider the fact that it's a really bad idea to make decisions regarding potential relationships whilst still entagled in a current relationship.
When you're with someone who makes you unhappy, your judgement is bound to be clouded by the unhappiness you currently feel, so you imagine that if only you were with someone else, you'd be happy. This simply isn't the case - rushing into a new relationship as a way of rescuing yourself from the old unhappiness is going to place massive pressure on the new relationship, and chances are it will fail under this pressure. New relationships should be fun and easy-going, and it's important to let them develop naturally.
So, to get a bit more specific, foreverlucky, I think you should end things with your current boyfriend right now. Let's face it, you've both cheated, it's clear neither of you is all that interested in pursuing this. You're not happy, and as an earlier reply said, you deserve happiness in life. However, I think it would be a bad idea to let this happiness depend on another guy - after all, you can never be sure of whether a relationship will work out, so you really need to find happiness within yourself. By this I mean you need to make sure that you personally are a happy and content person, whether you've got a boyfriend or not; once you are confident that life is good, then you'll be in the right mindset to start exploring the possibilities with another man.
My suggestion, then, is that you should spend some time being single. You're very young, and have been in a relationship for a long time, so I think it would help you to feel free and unconstrained for a while - let yourself go out and kiss people, without it being 'cheating'; let yourself get to know a lot of different guys, without giving them the potential to hurt you that comes with a serious relationship; let yourself gradually learn about how guys work without the pressure of having to get it right or get dumped. I'm not saying forget this new guy - far from it, he sounds lovely. But why rush into a relationship, and take the risk of your own baggage getting in the way? If I were you, I'd make it my mission to become good friends with the guy, but to specifically avoid taking things any further for a set period of time - say three months of being single. Get to know him as a person, and you'll be able to make an informed decision as to whether he is good boyfriend material. And if you do decide to go ahead, I guarantee you that those three months of friendship will be a great foundation for a loving relationship, because you'll already have a deep bond.
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A
female
reader, Sexybum +, writes (1 March 2006):
You've been with this guy since you were a kid and he's cheated on you with your 'best friend' and another girl. You say you done it back. Well you've stayed with him so you must care about him, but it doesn't meen you can't move on in life. You must really like this new guy as you have come asking for advice, I say go for it with the new guy. If your boyfriend met a girl that he liked he's already proven that he would go with her..........You deserve the happiness sweetie x
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (1 March 2006):
 what u need to ask yourself is that do u really want to contimue being with a guy who finds it easy to cheat on you? he has even done that twice with your best friend. I really dont think this guy will stop.
My advise is that u should give this new guy a chance if u feel he is great and u really like him.
All the best
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