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My boyfriend cheated, I forgave him, I didn't cheat but he's split up with me!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 August 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, *eslie1 writes:

A little while ago i asked for help because my boyfriend got another girl pregnant and didnt want to tell him that we were together well he did tell the girl but now we are arguing he found some messages that i have been writing to my ex but they werent anything serious were just friends and my boyfriend read the messages i meant to delete them because he really doesnt like my ex and now he thinks i cheated on him and has broke up with me i dont know what to do because i didnt do anything he wont believe me we live together and the lease is up we have to move out by september and he has told me we have to go our separate ways and i just dont think its fair because he really did cheat on me and i took him back but now i havent done anything and it really does seem its over what do i do? i dont want to loose him?

View related questions: broke up, my ex, split up

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A female reader, Artistry United States +, writes (22 August 2008):

Artistry agony auntHi there, Thanks for writing back. Find someone who is deserving of you, and try not to settle for less than you deserve. Life is too short to be miserable and wondering what someone is doing around the corner. It is always best someone told me, to let the person you care about, care about you more, especially when you are the woman. At lease let them think that, even if it is not true. Good luck to you always.

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A female reader, leslie1 United States +, writes (21 August 2008):

leslie1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

leslie1 agony auntthanks for all the help....it really helped me out and really look at the situation

thankzz

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A female reader, Tii3RN3Ybbs. United Kingdom +, writes (8 August 2008):

Tii3RN3Ybbs. agony auntHi There,

Maybe he's just scared because he cheated on you,

and he thinks you will do the same thing to get him back?

and/or he's scared.

or maybe have u ever stoped to think he's going to get with the young girl he got pregnent..

Give it time if he does get with her, then you no thats why, if not maybe try and find out a good reason why he left you?

if not i wouldn't bother with him?

you can do better, maybe your love between him and you has faded for him.

hope all goes well x

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A female reader, Artistry United States +, writes (8 August 2008):

Artistry agony auntHi there, Did you ever stop to think that he is doing you the biggest favor, by letting you go your own way, Why would you want to hang on to such a, I am sorry to say, loser. Don't you want someone who will be, or try to be true to you. Is there a child out there that is his, well if so , he will be, if he is going to be a good dad, involved with that child and the mother of that child, I suppose you will be ok with all of that complex nonsense as well? Open your eyes, you don't think it's fair, you don't really realize what a gift you have been given. I am sure you love him to pieces, but my goodness, a cheat is a cheat, and he found something to turn into a big thing so that he could say goodbye, let the man go, crawl into a fetal position, if you want and cry a river, I know it may hurt, but in the long run, you are going to be so much better off. Who would want to share their lover or husband with another woman and her child? Think, please think. Go froward and don't look back. Be your own best friend, and be good to yourself. Take care.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008):

I agree with Emily, just because you didn't cheat on him doesn't mean you owe him anything. When you agreed to be back with him it doesn't mean if you cheat he has to take you back. It was your decision at the time.

Your relationship had trust issues. He didn't believe you - he was probably paranoid about what he did in the past might've made you done something. It stops working well when someone in the relationship cheats, let alone trust issues.

You can't force someone to like you. You can implore and beg him to take you back, but I think its time to find someone better - in which you can be happy and have a wonderful relationship with.

Its really hard to get over someone. I know that. It takes weeks, months even years sometimes but the quicker you ignore him, get over it and make yourself open to happiness again, the quicker you will be happy again.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (8 August 2008):

Well just because you forgave him for going off and cheating doesn't mean he owes you anything.

He's just showing his true colours by being horrible. But then he already cheated on you by having unprotected sex.

I think you are better off without him. He obviously doesn't care about your feelings and there is nothing you can do to change that.

Look for a place of your own and then you can make a clean break.

Good Luck!! xx

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