A
female
age
30-35,
*ourOnlyHuman
writes:My boyfriend charles and I have been together for a year and 5 months. We have a three month old baby boy. During the last few weeks of my pregnancy we took a break. during this break he proposed that we would only have sex with each other we would just have a little space and I agreed. about a week ago i went to work and my co-worker told me she heard something about charles. a girl, alice, that used to work there that gave him her number initialy to give us a crib for the baby, slept with him. I love this man with all my heart but it hurts so much. I approached him about it and he told me no, swore on our son, yelled, acted pissed. i asked alice and she told me no. so a few days later my coworker got mad because they were making it out to seem like she was a big liar. she bugged alice and made alice tell me. alice text me told me they did, i told charles and he got so mad like really upset like i insulted him by bringing it back up for a second time, asking me to leave his house, everything like he was trg out for a movie scene. so i felt bad even tho the situation was telling me he did all i kept thinking was that he swore on our son and loved me. alice text me again the next day and i acted like i was charles then she spilt and told me everything (thinking it was charles) i approached charles again he got upset but i KNEW he was lying. I told him to eplain or be honest and he finally told me the truth. Im so hurt. he says he loves me. it was a mistake he was drunk. he wants me. he wants to marry me. but even when your drunk you can fend off someone ive fended off men many times thinking about charles, so it isnt a mistake if you wanted to do it...i love him and i would like to make it work but i know i cant trust him and would always think about it. im not really sure what to do at this point. i want him but only if i can be happy...idk please help...
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a break, co-worker, drunk, liar, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): I'd just like to say whoever annonymous is can you quit sending people that stupid quiz for every post you reply to it's not big or clever.
With regards to the orignal OPs problem: this man cannot be trusted please don't waste time giving him another chance because he will just throw it back in your face.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Cheating is never a 'Mistake". It is a conscious decision. You have a snapshot of your future. Don't waste it on this guy. Run from this.
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A
female
reader, YourOnlyHuman +, writes (28 October 2010):
YourOnlyHuman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis helped me a bit and I brought up taking up childcare classes & relationship classes. he initially turned down both, then after I walked away he said he'd take the childcare classes not for me, not for him, but for our son but not the relationship classes because "Nobody can tell people how to be with each other, only we can be the judge of that" I started to explain what a relationship class really consisted of but decided i dont have to explain a damn thing to him. I dont want to keep him from his son but I couldnt handle having to see him or risking that might son might learn this dramatic lying b.s from him. he has said at past times that he was gunna make sure my son knew how to get "pussy" but thats not what I have in mind for my baby, theres more to life than just sex. If he truly loved me, it would have never happened, young, drunk, or not. it hurts but seeing as he declined the counseling for ME & HIM...I have to let him go...because Im not going to try harder than he is...its not going to be 70/30 anymore...im worth more than that....thank you very much & your words mean alot to me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): Have your bf take this quiz.
http://www.lanarkleedsaa.org/pages/aboutaa/are_you_an_alcoholic.htm
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): Im quite sorry to hear about this. Another example in booze and why its costs outweigh its benefits. Therefore, should be avoided at all times. His excuse for being drunk is childish and just flat out dubious. Ive been drunk before and got offered a BJ by three women at once...but I refused cause im a one woman guy. This man doesnt deserve you and the fact he is your childs father does indeed put you in a tough spot. I can see you have high emotion here and a key ingredient for any relationship is trust and if he has proven to break that, especially in such a dramatic fashion, it should be a serious red flag for you to consider if you want your child to grow up around him. I almost fell for a single mom once who had two kids and she still keeps in touch with the father cause of the kids but she has now has a new guy and he takes good care of her. Dont let the fact this guy is the father "make you stay with him" as it may not be logically right, simply put. Rebuilding trust is a game plan in a relationship not a just a sorry and acceptance and Id advise that if you decide to stay together. Given the fact you have kids in the picture, counseling would be best and as expensive as it could be id say its price and benefits outweighs the scenario of what you just laid out as Id hate to see that happen again. Good luck.
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