A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend/boss might be let go at work and now, he wants to officially meet my family, go out more etc. No one knew about us but some did suspect a little not because we did anything but because one time, during a small meeting where it was a bit serious, we grinned at one another as he questioned me. Hes never played favorites though, I made a mistake twice and he did reprimand me along with other workers. I always accepted that of course. I tell him to slow down and to think positive- thibgs might go ok after all. But when I went to see him, he kept hugging me and as I left called me Mrs. (His last name). Igot home and he called and very softly asked if i could come back. I couldnt...he makes my heart hurt. The thing is that i care for him deeply but i dont think things can work. He is so sensitive and silly and sweet and i thought myself in love with him. We have known each other for a year now but i am not ready to be seen walking hand in hand with him everywhere and have people i work with know. Plus, he has four kids from previous relationships. I adore them but how will they accept me? They love me as myself but not as daddy's girlfriend. He's only eight years older but i feel like we're too different. I have no kids and it does bother me a little that he's been there, done that. I want to travel, flourish . I want a man who can put me and our kids first...i'd love to be a mother to his kids but they have mothers-mothers he has to cater to as well. I'm lost. But i cant leave him now that he needa me so much. We never thought we'd be together. I wanted to end things as soon as they started and almost quit. But, he always brings me back. I do love him but maybe just not enough? Please help me. What can i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2013): I think you answered your own question by writing this,
You love him but the age gap, children are what is making you not want anything long term. Finish it immediately so he is under no illusion you and he are for the long haul.
It is unfair to him and yourself that it continues.
He is a grown man and don't be sucked in to support him and take responsibility for his somewhat messy personal life.
He doesn't have so many exes and children for no reason at all and maybe he was attracted to his exes when they were single and childless too? I think you have a good opportunity to extract yourself and move on.
He is asking to much and giving to little back, make a clean break and be fair to everyone involved.
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