A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend has a new female friend who he has been somewhat secretive about. Should I be worried?I've been with him two years now and I've never met or heard of this women. Supposedly they were friends in middle school, but they haven't spoken for at least three years. They've had no contact whatsoever. A few weeks ago she sent him an email telling him that she had to track down his email to contact him. I'm not sure how she did it due to the fact that he just set up the mail and no one she knows has it. No they are talking on the hone everyday and my boyfriend is very rude to me when I ask him about it. He also deletes the text messages and email they exchange. He is being unusually secretive about the whole thing. Last night she text him at 1:30 am. I kindly text her back and asked her to try to contact him at a decent hour and that I am just not okay with them texting back and fourth that late at night. My boyfriend would crucify me if I did such a thing. She replied by being very rude. This morning she also text him to "tattle" on me. This whole situation is very odd. At this point he's hiding everything from me which is odd because he usually doesn't and I give him access to anything he might deem as suspicious at any time. Also, her whole attitude about the situation has made it worst. Why is my boyfriend insisting on taking her side and letting her belittle me. Should I be concerned?
View related questions:
best friend, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Briana969  +, writes (1 September 2009):
I would be concerned if this was my partner. You should be straight up with your boyfriend and tell him that this secretive behaviour which you have described is not acceptable. Relationships are about honesty and trust, and acting like this is showing you he is not being 100% honest with you. He is not showing you the respect a girlfriend should deserveyou may need to confront him and explain that this is worrying you to the point where the relationship is going to have problems if he is keeps behaving in this way. hope this helps briana
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): I'm going to be honest and you aren't going to like what I'm going to tell you. You should be very concerned. What you are describing is classic cheating/about to cheat behaviour. Do not put your head in the sand. You have instincts - Use them!This feeling won't last forever. I promise!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): Yes, I think his behavior is concerning. If she feels comfortable enough to be rude to you for calling her out on texting him that late at night, then she is competing with you for his time and attention and he has been talking negatively about you behind your back most likely to her.
It is nearly impossible to track down someone's personal email account unless it is published on some site like a social site that he allows anyone access too.
So someone (him) gave it to her....possibly after she found him at work or a home phone.
What you can do about it, I am not sure. He is showing a lack of respect for your feelings and resentment that you don't just automatically trust him.
I guess you could put it to him that you now don't trust her because she doesn't seem to respect normal boundaries of male female friendship, that she knows you are living together and yet she calls him or texts him all hours of the night. Maybe ask if he would introduce you to her since she is a friend of his.....but the bottom line is you don't trust him for some reason, what else has been going on lately?
...............................
|
