A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please tell me if I'm being overly conservative.My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years, and this is the first time his aunt and two cousins, one 12yrs old, the other 14yrs old came to visit. Since this is my first time meeting them, I wanted to spend more time with them to get to know them. I noticed that the 14yrs old is quite close to my boyfriend's cousin who is in his early 20's. I see him sitting on the floor with his legs wide open with her in between them while holding her. I see them laying in bed close together. I see them holding hands, fingers entertwined while going out. Those scenes give me the chills. I spoke with my boyfriend about it and he said they are family that haven't seen each other in a while and are just close like that. She's not like that with other male family members. I caught my boyfriend staring at them oddly, like he's jealous because he can't be close like that to her because I'm there now. I asked my boyfriend if he was also close to her like that and he brushed me off by saying he's close to everyone like that. I had an off feeling about it and told him that I wouldn't like it if he got that close to her physically. He promised he wouldn't because it made me uncomfortable.A few days later, I had walked away from the room. My boyfriend thought he was alone with his 14yrs old cousin.. I don't know what happend but when I came back into the room, I saw the both of them with both arms up, palm against palm, and fingers entertwined. He lowered his head and she tilted her head, forehead against forehead. That was the scene I saw when I entered the room. He heard me and looked up and immediately pulled away. I got so mad...What donyou think of that? Was I over thinking? Why does her behaviour/their behaviour make me feel sick to my stomach?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2018): This behavior is definitely disturbing and stomach churning. The fact that his cousin is underage and, I'm assuming, your boyfriend is in his early thirties is equally disturbing. As femmenoir said if you choose to do so you can sit down and tell him how this makes you feel. If it were me I would not be able to handle this or forget this ever. I'd dump him.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (10 May 2018):
 "I caught my boyfriend staring at them oddly, like he's jealous because he can't be close like that to her because I'm there now."
I have never been able to deduce this much from one look. But even discounting this you have a very unhealthy situation going on here. The age difference is worse than the relationship. Looks like you stumbled into a multi generational swamp.
Get out!
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (10 May 2018):
 No, you are not being too conservative, you are not over thinking & you're not overreacting whatsoever.
Your bf, your bfs male cousin & his 14 year old cousin are all behaving in a very improper, inappropriate & promiscuous way toward each other.
Your bf should be "this" intimate with you, as his partner & not with his cousin.
I do apologise & i don't want to use this term, but this is playing out like "prospective/possible" "familial incest" amongst these family members.
I would strongly advise you to sit your bf down & ask him directly, what is going on between he & his family members?
I don't think you're being too intrusive, if you let your bf know, that you saw what he & his 14 year old cousin were doing in the room.
You 'd be wise letting him know, that you weren't at all happy about it.
Personally, i would be very bothered by witnessing such acts between family members & i honestly think there is something very "off" going on behind the scenes here.
We are always innocent until proven guilty, but i must admit, there is so much "weird" evidence already being displayed around you & none of these family members, have gone to great lengths to hide it fully from you.
It's almost as though they all "get off," on the sheer thrill of being caught.
You should definitely listen to your gut instinct & you should decide for once & for all, as to whether you really wish to be with a guy, who has been caught engaging in semi-intimate conduct, with his own relative.
These behaviours, are enough to make most stomachs churn, let alone when it's your bf doing it.
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